tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-239408772024-03-13T05:09:42.269-05:00Reconsidering SanityEver wanted to lay on the floor, scream and pull your hair out? Yeah, me too.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger336125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-30707410341710953052013-03-05T10:53:00.000-06:002013-03-05T10:53:29.254-06:00Taboo Woof<div style="text-align: center;">
Ok.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So apparently, people around the world have some fetishes and or rituals that I had NO IDEA existed. And of course, Americans made a television series about it. Followers, I present to you...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
TABOO on the National Geographic Channel!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/taboo/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="222" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SK4IW9LoCT8/UTYdQATuucI/AAAAAAAAAPM/XN-3yTsP16k/s400/dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/taboo/" target="_blank">Umm... Woof?</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The picture is a link too, for all you inquisitive types.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For those who don't care to take the jump, Taboo covers topics that are.... wait for it.... taboo. Like, drug use, bizarre burial rituals, crazy kids, etc. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And then there's an episode entitled "Private Passions."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/taboo/episodes/private-passions/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OnpjXlHPy3E/UTYfkcE3PFI/AAAAAAAAAPc/kvwkHrkrIvY/s400/puppy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah. That's a dominatrix chick totally walking a human being LIKE A DOG because "Tyke" likes to be a DOG for most of his daily life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Uhh huh.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So Tyke (who is a female) dresses up in leather clothes and that leather... mask.... thing... and crawls around on all fours in their apartment. She also eats out of a dog bowl, sleeps in a cage and chases balls. In watching the show, though, I never heard her bark or see her take a crap outside.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
People.... WHY?!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think she mentioned that being a dog made her feel safe or something?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And her owner, or whatever she is, is totally down for all of it, because I think she is a closet dominatrix. For real. She makes comments about how they met and what kind of arrangement they have, which just gets weirder and weirder. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So yeah. I'm sitting on the couch, mouth agape, flabbergasted out of my mind, and here come my kids. Of course!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now, the episode was about half over, and the two do not have a sexual relationship, and I always encourage my kids to learn about different people, cultures, etc. So I let them watch the rest of it with me. When it was over, the questions began...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"MOM!! WHY does she want to be a PUPPY?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Where did she get that mask thing?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Can she BREATHE in it?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Why does she sleep in a cage?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Is her owner nice to her?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And... wait for it....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"CAN I BE A DOG FOR THE REST OF THE DAY?!"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That came from the He-Child. Before you even ask, yes, he was a puppy for the rest of the day. And the next day. AND THE NEXT.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
His name was Spot.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I did not buy him a leather muzzle.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I had to address him as Spot, and he answered me in bark. I petted him but did not let him eat from a dog bowl. And yes, he used the human facilities and not the back yard because yeah I will encourage my kids to explore stuff but not LIKE THAT. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So he was a puppy for a couple of days.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I'm hooked on a new t.v. show.....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
*All photos courtesy of National Geographic blah blah blah They're not mine.*</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-11000260254642098562013-02-18T23:05:00.002-06:002013-02-18T23:05:36.640-06:00Jaxxon Blaze<div style="text-align: center;">
New nephew!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fCuMrfMUTbw/USMHaOyDPCI/AAAAAAAAAOw/_aaqtOi2V-g/s1600/jax.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fCuMrfMUTbw/USMHaOyDPCI/AAAAAAAAAOw/_aaqtOi2V-g/s320/jax.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Born 07.31.2012</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
ISN'T HE THE CUTEST MOST UN-EXCITED LOOKING BABY EVER?!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
WAIT WAIT!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here's another adorable picture!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2skqdot-_F0/USMH8EApb_I/AAAAAAAAAO4/w3dg4hX36N4/s1600/Jaxxon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2skqdot-_F0/USMH8EApb_I/AAAAAAAAAO4/w3dg4hX36N4/s320/Jaxxon.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-67239834322199749092013-02-18T23:00:00.001-06:002013-02-18T23:00:58.388-06:00The Potty Parrot<div style="text-align: center;">
So my dad bought a house and is in the process of updating stuff around the place.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Making it his own, like any new home owner would do.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Very much his own.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you have the privilege of using the facilities in his home, you will be greeted by the Potty Parrot: </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MKOlkbyuuW4/USMGD-S6b3I/AAAAAAAAAOg/tud6s5uTReI/s1600/IMAG0960.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MKOlkbyuuW4/USMGD-S6b3I/AAAAAAAAAOg/tud6s5uTReI/s320/IMAG0960.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yes, that is a Macaw wearing a beer box hat (representing his brand, yo). </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now I don't know where he got the damned thing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or exactly how he snuck it past his girlfriend and into the bathroom.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or how he made the damn hat that says "I've got your back, dude!" or something to that affect.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But if you're one of those people who tend to need a good twenty minutes per sit down, I would take care of business before heading over to Dad's.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Unless you like a colorful, silent, alcoholic bird staring at you while you do your biz.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not that he is a horrible potty partner.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just a little unnerving is all.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-86540334602728292332013-02-18T22:45:00.001-06:002013-02-18T22:45:44.814-06:00Pug<div style="text-align: center;">
So.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We decided to get a pug.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We named her China. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And no one told us that adopting a pug is very much like adopting a two year old.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pugs are very curious, i.e. you will need to elevate your kitchen trash can from day one. This also means that your pencils, remote controls, fishing lures and other various items are no longer safe, because pugs are curious about how things TASTE. They are especially fond of candy:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fvhDR_Lzxt0/USL_2lbxujI/AAAAAAAAANc/0iv1heVkFGY/s1600/pug+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fvhDR_Lzxt0/USL_2lbxujI/AAAAAAAAANc/0iv1heVkFGY/s320/pug+2.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yes. She is holding a Dum Dum and licking it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pugs are also very fond of different textures, like mud:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jsc0hIPOv_s/USMAJqmoSII/AAAAAAAAANk/gE13Qm1-dsA/s1600/IMAG0872.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jsc0hIPOv_s/USMAJqmoSII/AAAAAAAAANk/gE13Qm1-dsA/s320/IMAG0872.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Also, it is a very little known fact that pugs actually evolved from birds. They like to perch:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EejymDglgKE/USMBGIcFw7I/AAAAAAAAANw/8jMTaaeBnak/s1600/pug+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EejymDglgKE/USMBGIcFw7I/AAAAAAAAANw/8jMTaaeBnak/s320/pug+1.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They also gain weight around their middle like I do. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Another little known fact: they have a tiny bit of sloth in their DNA. They apparently require an extraordinary amount of sleep, and they will literally fall asleep wherever they are:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-m8jxwaTTC5A/USMCTbCWCbI/AAAAAAAAAN8/PJI5KBEllvc/s1600/pug+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-m8jxwaTTC5A/USMCTbCWCbI/AAAAAAAAAN8/PJI5KBEllvc/s320/pug+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fun Fact number 877: PUGS ARE LOUD.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They FART they SNORE they SNORT they WHINE they CHUFF they make other undefinable noises.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
ALL. THE. TIME.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can Google a sound byte, it's a little late for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But aside from all of these little things, she is absolutely great with the kids, very patient and takes household changes very well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We love our pug! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-50432119673693031132012-11-14T12:36:00.000-06:002012-11-14T12:36:45.246-06:00Grand Reopening <div style="text-align: center;">
Well hello there!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Welcome to the grand reopening (??) of my blog!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Grab a cart! Take a look around!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There are many new items to view!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
First Up....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NEW NEPHEW!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0x5gddVM18U/UKPdVBHrchI/AAAAAAAAANA/fH9iy1UlYBI/s1600/Jaxxon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0x5gddVM18U/UKPdVBHrchI/AAAAAAAAANA/fH9iy1UlYBI/s320/Jaxxon.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Introducing.... Jaxxon Blaize!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Look at that hair!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Next....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hubs tore his bicep. THAT was fun.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SX2TM4f2_M4/UKPeHbfavPI/AAAAAAAAANI/NSug2jheSpw/s1600/Portals_0_altman2_Distal_Biceps_Tendon_Rupture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SX2TM4f2_M4/UKPeHbfavPI/AAAAAAAAANI/NSug2jheSpw/s320/Portals_0_altman2_Distal_Biceps_Tendon_Rupture.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But he has had surgery to reattach it and everything is better. More to come about all that. But here is a nifty link because I took the time so <a href="http://www.sportsmd.com/sportsmd_articles/id/281.aspx" target="_blank">click on it</a>.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Moving right along....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I got a job, sitting at a desk, at a computer, not having to talk to anyone, doing my own thing, and getting paid $10.58 an hour! Whoop!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm still working out at the gym.... UUGGHH.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The kids are good. Growing up and all that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I read online that mayonnaise is supposed to be very good for the health of your hair. So you know what I did... YOU KNOW. I ran a warm bath, soaked for a few minutes, and washed my hair. I used the mayo in place of conditioner.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And you know what stinks worse than mayo? WET MAYO.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And having to let it sit in your hair for five whole minutes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ugh.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do you know what smells worse than five minute old wet mayo? Five minute old wet mayo THAT WONT COME OUT OF YOUR HAIR.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then add seven layers of shampoo and you get one tasty treat for your pug.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
China was LOVING IT! She was having a fit trying to get herself into the tub.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You know what? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
MAYO STINKS FOR A WHILE.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And, pugs have an excellent sense of smell for having such a short muzzle.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And, they're already like an effing three year old on a sugar high....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So you can imagine the situation I was in for a couple of days.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yes, I learned my lesson.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
More on pug later.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And finally....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A cute nephew story.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Kashdon is the middle nephew. He is almost four.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The other night at dinner, his mother informed him that he would not get dessert if he did not finish his carrots. To which he lowered his head and said:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"This is some BULLSHIT."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I.HEART.MY.NEPHEWS. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-38751262875472574552011-12-18T15:45:00.000-06:002011-12-18T15:45:28.345-06:00*Click*<div style="text-align: center;">My mom, sister and I (oh, and TK) hung out for a while the other day. We wondered around Hobby Lobby and a couple of other places. I'm not real sure what our intention was, probably just "bond" or whatever. Whenever we're all together someone always manages a comment or two about mom's phone.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Because she keeps it in her bra.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And I don't know why but while she was driving we all hear a *click*.</div><div style="text-align: center;">"What was that?"</div><div style="text-align: center;">--Mom turns the wheel--</div><div style="text-align: center;">*click*</div><div style="text-align: center;">"I think my phone is taking pictures!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">*click*</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Ewww! Pictures of what?!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">"I guess whatever's in my bra!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh. Em. Gee.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hey mom don't bust a u-turn, we may all get a media message we DO NOT WANT TO OPEN.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-58909018230305370302011-12-18T15:40:00.000-06:002011-12-18T15:40:56.980-06:00Wedgie Free<div style="text-align: center;">"Mom, why do I have to wear underwear that come up to my belly button?"</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Because you're ten and unmarried and that's the rule around here."</div><div style="text-align: center;">"But none of my friend's wear that kind..."</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Well, what kind do they wear?"</div><div style="text-align: center;">"I dunno...the kind that doesn't give you wedgies..."</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Okay..."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Lily and I have this conversation almost daily until I give in and buy her some new underwear. I get them home, she tries them on and glory be! Wedgie free!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">You know how I know?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Mom look!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">--shakes her butt--</div><div style="text-align: center;">"No wedgie!!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">--dances around--</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Now wedgie!!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">--lays on her back and puts her ankles behind her head--</div><div style="text-align: center;">"NO WEDGIE!!"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yay.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-77691162247098951682011-12-11T10:09:00.000-06:002011-12-11T10:09:45.703-06:00Nerves of Steal<div style="text-align: center;">Two days ago, the kids and I were walking out of the library through those tall, "unpaid-for item" detectors and Caleb asked what they were for. Being the ever-helpful parent, I explained what they were and how they worked... to my chagrin. Next on my to-do list was grocery shopping. We passed through a set of similar detectors on the way out. </div><div style="text-align: center;">You can guess what happened next, right?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Caleb loudly exclaims:</div><div style="text-align: center;">"OH GOOD!! WE DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING!!!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't know why I wasn't tackled by security. Maybe the holiday spirit?</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-36171331782891020352011-11-07T12:55:00.000-06:002011-11-07T12:55:30.596-06:00The Next Iron Chef....Me! NOT<div style="text-align: center;">I've kind of been in a "make your family healthier by providing more unprocessed foods" mood.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I said, KIND OF.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've learned a little here and there, but one thing I've known for a while is that homemade chicken stock is THE BOMB and easy to make.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I remember making it a few years ago.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So, I gathered some boneless, skinless chicken breasts, rosemary, garlic and onion, plopped them all in a crock pot and let it simmer all day.</div><div style="text-align: center;">What did I get?</div><div style="text-align: center;">White wrinkly chicken fingers floating in a vat of garlic water.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yum.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hmmmm....</div><div style="text-align: center;">So after a bit of research (props for Google!) I relearned that you need the bones of the chicken to make stock. Duh. Ok.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So today I bought a whole chicken, took it home, and cut the plastic off.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And remembered why I haven't made chicken stock in five years.</div><div style="text-align: center;">They stick a WHOLE CHICKEN in there, y'all. Like, EVERYTHING. Butt, wings, legs, tail nub, everything!! Oh, and on the package it says to "remove the giblets" before cooking. </div><div style="text-align: center;">WHAT THE HELL IS A GIBLET</div><div style="text-align: center;">and</div><div style="text-align: center;">WHERE THE HELL IS IT??</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ugh. The only place it could be is all up in the chicken's business, if you ladies know what I mean.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Barf. I did not plan on being a chicken gynecologist today.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I opened it up and saw... something... poking out and pulled it and UGH IT WAS A NECK. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Ack ack ack!! </div><div style="text-align: center;">I figured that wasn't all but in order to retrieve all the STUFF I needed to actually stick my hand in the cavity and FISH IT OUT. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I needed more coffee.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I finally closed my eyes and reached my hand in and IMMEDIATELY opened my eyes because your brain makes up some crazy shiz when it has to make it's own image of what you're sticking your hand into. It felt like cold, bony globular BARF that I could NEVER IN MY LIFE compare to anything else. EVER.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I drug them all outta there and saw that one more was left. I tried upending the chicken and shaking it but that didn't work. UGH.</div><div style="text-align: center;">In again.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ack!!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ok. Made it through that.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Then I discovered that the whole chicken fit in the crock pot but didn't leave much room for water, celery, onion, etc. So I was gonna have to take off its limbs and stuff. UUUGGGHHH.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The only thing worse than cleaning out the chicken is having to grasp the slippery limbs and wrench them around in order to break the bones.</div><div style="text-align: center;">OH. MY. GOSH.</div><div style="text-align: center;">SALMONELLA EVERYWHERE.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I got that done, and now had a limbless chicken that STILL wouldn't fit in the crock pot.</div><div style="text-align: center;">*sigh*</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I cut the body in half (there's sharp ribs in there y'all and DID I JUST CUT MYSELF?! AHH! INTERNAL SALMONELLA!!!!) and plopped it in the pot with the neck and a wing. I covered it with water and put it on to simmer. Then I washed my hands with straight up bleach (mama don't play no games), soaked the sink, knife, faucet, counter and nearly anything else within a seven foot diameter. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Then I had to decide what to do with the other half of the chicken.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I didn't have any gallon sized baggies (of course!). But I did have foil and saran wrap. So I wrapped the stupid chicken three times in foil and three times in plastic wrap (always a pleasure to work with) because I didn't want all my hard work freezer burned. UGH.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I contemplated disinfecting everything again, just to make sure. </div><div style="text-align: center;">But I decided on more coffee and blog.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Aren't y'all proud of me??</div><div style="text-align: center;">I made chicken stock!!!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">P.S.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Luckily the dog and cat were outside or I would have had to bathe them in bleach. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-26824116371956254982011-10-22T15:49:00.001-05:002011-10-22T15:49:33.373-05:00Panty Raid (Guadalupe Gilmer's first post)<div style="text-align: center;">
In the mail quite a few weeks ago I received this shirt</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-134IHnoe_hY/TqMln3_mJAI/AAAAAAAAAM4/_j_F0S3brhQ/s1600/GG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-134IHnoe_hY/TqMln3_mJAI/AAAAAAAAAM4/_j_F0S3brhQ/s1600/GG.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and a short story booklet about an adventure of this Texas river legend from my Grandfather. I think I get my story telling skills from him. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So I decided to start a series on this here blog, called The Adventures of Gilmer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or, $hit that happened while I was wearing the above T-shirt.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So without further ado, I present Guadalupe Gilmer's Panty Raid.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Every weekday morning after I drop the kids off at school, I run down the street to have coffee with my Granny. I've blogged about her before; I like old people. She lives in a retirement center (NOT A NURSING HOME!). A retirement center is a place where you can live after you retire. According to Granny it's an apartment complex where you live surrounded by wrinkled, crotchety geriatrics waiting to die from a variety of illnesses. CLEARLY not a place for HER. She's not old, crotchety or geriatric, really. She's a 22 year old trapped in an 82 year old body.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Anywho.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
People who live in the center die at a rate of about three a month, more or less, I don't keep accurate death tolls. Too morbid. And as my cousin Lauren aptly described the situation, "They're like a bunch of buzzards that hover around a dying resident, waiting to take possession of their belongings once the hearse clears the parking lot." Indeed. I've SEEN it. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sadly, Granny's dear friend passed away recently after a long battle with cancer. She was such a sweet lady. Granny was reminiscing about her friend one day as we were visiting Lauren and her newborn oh-so-cute chubby baby girl. She mentioned that when she and her friend arrived at the viewing, they were the only ones there. So they went up to see how good a job the mortician had done on their friend's body. What a way to shop for your future expenses, eh?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So they walked up there and inspected her. As in, CHECKED TO MAKE SURE HE INSERTED HER GOOD TEETH. As opposed to.... the wooden ones? I dunno. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They also looked to see how well the artist had covered the shunt site on her chest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now, I'm assuming the dearly departed wasn't wearing a bikini.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So that meant they had to... um... LOOK UNDER HER SHIRT. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They said he did a good job.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
By the end of this adventure everyone around the table was red-faced and dying from laughter and probably embarrassment. I'm pretty sure Granny asked us to do a postmortem inspection because, you know, if you pay thousands of dollars for someone to make you look undead they better do a damn good job. I started to imagine Granny coming into my room as a ghost in the middle of the night demanding a refund from the funeral home because her bouffant wasn't as good as the girls at the cosmetology school would have done.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Such is my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Lauren's doing that inspection with me, by the way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then we're gonna go chug martini's until Granny's ghost appears.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />Back to the Panty Raid.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
After the funeral and appropriate waiting period (about 18 hours) the residents of the retirement center began to gather around their friend's apartment, waiting for the survivors to begin passing out or selling the deceased's belongings that they had silently called dibs on while visiting their ill friend. Friends leave with anything from recliners to canned goods to hundreds of mini bottles of lotion and body wash. Or their panties.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You knew I was going there right?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not by choice, mind you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So one morning I go to Granny's and sit down with my cup of joe and Gilmer and I start reading the newspaper when Granny comes into the living room:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Hey Tally, I went up to (the friend)'s apartment and got a few things that her daughter was throwing away. She gave me a WHOLE WAL-MART BAG FULL of her panties. Now I washed them all REAL GOOD and they're laying there on the bed. You go in there and pick out the ones you want; I've already picked out mine. They're good panties, a little big for me but they're those expensive silk kind, you may not like them but I like them."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How do you respond to THAT?!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
BESIDES choking on your coffee?!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can't even think of what to write after that. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Gilmer and I just kinda sat there dumbfounded. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then I politely declined.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm pretty sure Gilmer had a good laugh, first because of the situation and secondly because he knew I would have to answer because a screened image on the back of a T-shirt can't talk, you know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that the generation that grew up during the Great Depression recycle, reuse and hoard. But really?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
REALLY???</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The Gilmer shirt is dirty, need to go start a load of laundry.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-61584753724466501612011-09-29T14:06:00.001-05:002011-09-29T14:06:43.471-05:00California Vacation<div style="text-align: center;">
And now, for a photo montage of our two week vacation to California!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
First of all... we drove approximately 4,032,993 miles round trip and more than, I dunno, 80 miles makes Talia grumpy traveler. Sorry. It's just who I am. I turn into a bitchy, whiny, sore, annoying personage of myself. Not proud, but not gonna deny it either. How did James, Nana, the kids and I pass the time?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RXiIkuU1jT8/ToIX1xGfUJI/AAAAAAAAAKI/8U50tyZswg0/s1600/kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RXiIkuU1jT8/ToIX1xGfUJI/AAAAAAAAAKI/8U50tyZswg0/s1600/kids.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The kids fought. The. Entire. Time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0Z92uyXOy-c/ToIX_o3WBWI/AAAAAAAAAKM/oQbhvmk376M/s1600/nana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0Z92uyXOy-c/ToIX_o3WBWI/AAAAAAAAAKM/oQbhvmk376M/s1600/nana.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nana slept most of the time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6bqiYMwgk6E/ToIYKKjI7dI/AAAAAAAAAKQ/GEnMNnoUB7Q/s1600/James.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6bqiYMwgk6E/ToIYKKjI7dI/AAAAAAAAAKQ/GEnMNnoUB7Q/s1600/James.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
James and I were up front. James drove the whole way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
ANYWAY.....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We drove west because that's how you get to CA from TX. We began by traveling through New Mexico and Arizona, which pretty much looked like this...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Muvrl8FoU84/ToIYizeg-NI/AAAAAAAAAKU/f8oGZPqjths/s1600/132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Muvrl8FoU84/ToIYizeg-NI/AAAAAAAAAKU/f8oGZPqjths/s320/132.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
.... and this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xBO4vIilgwg/ToIZLwsuMLI/AAAAAAAAAKY/Ki-ZD0Q8klk/s1600/566.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xBO4vIilgwg/ToIZLwsuMLI/AAAAAAAAAKY/Ki-ZD0Q8klk/s320/566.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't take many pictures because the duct tape only allowed me minimal movement... when I was a good girl.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All of a sudden, the temperature dropped fifteen degrees and we were in California!! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Ixn3HL0uZc/ToIaPvsV2FI/AAAAAAAAAKc/qSgpL9pS_lE/s1600/131.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Ixn3HL0uZc/ToIaPvsV2FI/AAAAAAAAAKc/qSgpL9pS_lE/s320/131.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(going through the mountains)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Our first stop was Oceanside, James' old stomping grounds. After checking in at the hotel (which was surrounded by Bird-of-Paradise!) we headed down to the pier on the beach.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sv2DqyN1jl4/ToIavK0F6NI/AAAAAAAAAKg/hNhwwnltvPk/s1600/136.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sv2DqyN1jl4/ToIavK0F6NI/AAAAAAAAAKg/hNhwwnltvPk/s320/136.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NZ4pbbnlDGU/ToIaya0GhtI/AAAAAAAAAKk/arAE62wGKQw/s1600/137.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NZ4pbbnlDGU/ToIaya0GhtI/AAAAAAAAAKk/arAE62wGKQw/s320/137.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ObRji242Bg8/ToIa5_PoqdI/AAAAAAAAAKo/0tQSdM_uuqo/s1600/140.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ObRji242Bg8/ToIa5_PoqdI/AAAAAAAAAKo/0tQSdM_uuqo/s320/140.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EWl3_ABJv4E/ToIa9Un_kiI/AAAAAAAAAKs/U61W1tLzjqQ/s1600/144.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EWl3_ABJv4E/ToIa9Un_kiI/AAAAAAAAAKs/U61W1tLzjqQ/s320/144.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
May I take a moment to say... the Pacific Ocean is effin' cold!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Walking along the pier....</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a0ACeR8HEAM/ToIbbYtdu7I/AAAAAAAAAK0/0wbI8Itx7Ek/s1600/154.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a0ACeR8HEAM/ToIbbYtdu7I/AAAAAAAAAK0/0wbI8Itx7Ek/s320/154.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Pvv3956GOaE/ToIbXw0Ok1I/AAAAAAAAAKw/2WngcbQoA8s/s1600/145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Pvv3956GOaE/ToIbXw0Ok1I/AAAAAAAAAKw/2WngcbQoA8s/s320/145.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
... we encountered this guy. I think he was from Pier Security. He was grumpy. All he did was perch on the fish cleaning sink and wait to be tossed some guts. Eww.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
The kids had fun playing on a seaweed island that washed ashore. Like, a for-real island. This HUGE clump of seaweed washed up. It was cool. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U8f4_ViO4sE/ToIgoiEkzQI/AAAAAAAAAK4/V_fzhreAj68/s1600/1088.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U8f4_ViO4sE/ToIgoiEkzQI/AAAAAAAAAK4/V_fzhreAj68/s320/1088.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This was a small chunk that broke off the main chunk.<br />
James and Caleb spent a lot of time looking for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippoidea">these ugly buggers</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HExZEs4XZ10/ToI9pMADgFI/AAAAAAAAAK8/APQWu4aRzlE/s1600/1087.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HExZEs4XZ10/ToI9pMADgFI/AAAAAAAAAK8/APQWu4aRzlE/s320/1087.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Kjqw0HR71bs/ToI9s0-2-KI/AAAAAAAAALA/Tci5ixw0rnQ/s1600/1095.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Kjqw0HR71bs/ToI9s0-2-KI/AAAAAAAAALA/Tci5ixw0rnQ/s320/1095.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
After a couple of days, it was back on the road again to our KOA camping grounds near Lake Isabella. It was located in the mountains.....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HY49tzJ4BXI/ToI_Gi6Iv2I/AAAAAAAAALU/cUvEu3LtorE/s1600/161.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HY49tzJ4BXI/ToI_Gi6Iv2I/AAAAAAAAALU/cUvEu3LtorE/s320/161.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Our cabin was sooo cute! And it had mattresses and air conditioning!! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-APJV9MkUEJc/ToI_KOPl6RI/AAAAAAAAALY/K2d7sRQERSI/s1600/209.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-APJV9MkUEJc/ToI_KOPl6RI/AAAAAAAAALY/K2d7sRQERSI/s320/209.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
While we were there, we went boating on beautiful Lake Isabella.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hdifDNlMYGM/ToI-3R-XcoI/AAAAAAAAALM/-fZU49y46RI/s1600/1135.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hdifDNlMYGM/ToI-3R-XcoI/AAAAAAAAALM/-fZU49y46RI/s320/1135.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L8ATavhFbr4/ToI-ypZy0YI/AAAAAAAAALI/1Zga-9Dsasw/s1600/1134.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L8ATavhFbr4/ToI-ypZy0YI/AAAAAAAAALI/1Zga-9Dsasw/s320/1134.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_XwqPewN8HE/ToI-77RUPpI/AAAAAAAAALQ/0JtPBoZKxPs/s1600/1136.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_XwqPewN8HE/ToI-77RUPpI/AAAAAAAAALQ/0JtPBoZKxPs/s320/1136.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kyQS-38rWAs/ToJBQ1JGCJI/AAAAAAAAALc/lTKVrOETexE/s1600/213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kyQS-38rWAs/ToJBQ1JGCJI/AAAAAAAAALc/lTKVrOETexE/s320/213.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YmY3gZRSaaI/ToJBcsH8AkI/AAAAAAAAALg/pjukq3wrWfM/s1600/211.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YmY3gZRSaaI/ToJBcsH8AkI/AAAAAAAAALg/pjukq3wrWfM/s320/211.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
We visited the Sequoia National Forest and walked the Trail of One Hundred Giants....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YKQEas_XjZY/ToI-vjqaHrI/AAAAAAAAALE/Opg9bSSzrms/s1600/1103.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YKQEas_XjZY/ToI-vjqaHrI/AAAAAAAAALE/Opg9bSSzrms/s320/1103.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
.... which turned into the Trail of Twenty-Eight Giants because it started to rain.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GpiPEOoR-Qg/ToJB5QqxmyI/AAAAAAAAALk/v5z7EWuWIFs/s1600/197.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GpiPEOoR-Qg/ToJB5QqxmyI/AAAAAAAAALk/v5z7EWuWIFs/s320/197.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r72eZoB8YaU/ToJCAnGLsRI/AAAAAAAAALo/zJTFtDrprsc/s1600/193.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r72eZoB8YaU/ToJCAnGLsRI/AAAAAAAAALo/zJTFtDrprsc/s320/193.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_8JsrsqGCic/ToJCFYOzDGI/AAAAAAAAALs/XTpR19DPhpI/s1600/204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_8JsrsqGCic/ToJCFYOzDGI/AAAAAAAAALs/XTpR19DPhpI/s320/204.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
This is the root system of a giant that toppled over, pulling itself out of the ground. It was about 5.5 feet tall and 10 (?) feet wide!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2DkAjRq0NxA/ToJCJ7THfdI/AAAAAAAAALw/obI4tlfDx1k/s1600/208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2DkAjRq0NxA/ToJCJ7THfdI/AAAAAAAAALw/obI4tlfDx1k/s320/208.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
We also visited the<a href="http://www.cahotsprings.com/"> California Hot Springs Resort</a>, which is a naturally hot stream that is piped into a swimming pool for your enjoyment.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nPMGGNJkK94/ToS1YS9te2I/AAAAAAAAAL4/f5sn5WWOvKE/s1600/186.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nPMGGNJkK94/ToS1YS9te2I/AAAAAAAAAL4/f5sn5WWOvKE/s320/186.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-te7bDDf4mgo/ToS1i-fpRpI/AAAAAAAAAL8/z6nrtkjuBqo/s1600/189.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-te7bDDf4mgo/ToS1i-fpRpI/AAAAAAAAAL8/z6nrtkjuBqo/s320/189.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
It. Was. AWESOME.<br />
<br />
By the way, mountain driving takes about four times longer than regular driving due to all the curves and cows. I kid you not. The road is barely wide enough for one vehicle and at every other turn there's a STINKING COW blocking the way. I would have taken pictures of being in the mountains, but it's kind of like Las Vegas: you're too close to get scenic shots.<br />
Speaking of Las Vegas.....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tznzZD0e2DQ/ToS3JtKGbXI/AAAAAAAAAMA/XUoDFPB8diU/s1600/220px-Stratosphere_Las_Vegas_-_November_2003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tznzZD0e2DQ/ToS3JtKGbXI/AAAAAAAAAMA/XUoDFPB8diU/s1600/220px-Stratosphere_Las_Vegas_-_November_2003.jpg" /></a></div>
We stayed at the Stratosphere!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vw6EM0TMrwE/ToS3OCvcz4I/AAAAAAAAAME/MBAOXxf7SDk/s1600/226.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vw6EM0TMrwE/ToS3OCvcz4I/AAAAAAAAAME/MBAOXxf7SDk/s320/226.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QXh75pP21Ao/ToS3R3QNK4I/AAAAAAAAAMI/7p8JkZMA8zY/s1600/232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QXh75pP21Ao/ToS3R3QNK4I/AAAAAAAAAMI/7p8JkZMA8zY/s320/232.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
View from the top of the Stratosphere, with Lily's head in front of the window looking down.<br />
Way, WAAAY down.<br />
Uncomfortably way down.<br />
As in, I got woozy BEHIND FOUR INCH THICK GLASS AND A RAIL.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7ujsEvqtZxU/ToS3V-3UodI/AAAAAAAAAMM/F02oRjzBOFI/s1600/234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7ujsEvqtZxU/ToS3V-3UodI/AAAAAAAAAMM/F02oRjzBOFI/s320/234.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The Lake of Fire thingy at the Mirage.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nMgZ63If0Zk/ToS3Yc6htKI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/2h33NKqwWIE/s1600/235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nMgZ63If0Zk/ToS3Yc6htKI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/2h33NKqwWIE/s320/235.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
Volcano in the Lake.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lWtFTGfFgYk/ToS3b9WLCtI/AAAAAAAAAMU/qq7BAwC_fyw/s1600/248.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lWtFTGfFgYk/ToS3b9WLCtI/AAAAAAAAAMU/qq7BAwC_fyw/s320/248.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
Mandalay Bay, where we visited the Shark Reef Aquarium.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DCVfSjR8X5U/ToS3erIqvnI/AAAAAAAAAMY/TL-ithfTQzs/s1600/261.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DCVfSjR8X5U/ToS3erIqvnI/AAAAAAAAAMY/TL-ithfTQzs/s320/261.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Y5DYecuHPgY/ToS3hcX6hyI/AAAAAAAAAMc/5pg4N4hF-cQ/s1600/262.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Y5DYecuHPgY/ToS3hcX6hyI/AAAAAAAAAMc/5pg4N4hF-cQ/s320/262.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Inside the MGM Grand Hotel we ate at the Rainforest Cafe, which was cool but really dark and noisy. I suppose the idea is to make you think you're in the rainforest (I'm brilliant, huh?), but it was so dark and foggy you could barely see the huge aquariums beside you. Nothing like eating your mahi mahi with some neon blue Finding Nemo fish starting at you.<br />
<br />
My favorite hotel/casino?<br />
Caesar's Palace baby!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c3nKsZ8ZSXQ/ToS5q1F8D2I/AAAAAAAAAMg/ZwpxyAe2uYE/s1600/612.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c3nKsZ8ZSXQ/ToS5q1F8D2I/AAAAAAAAAMg/ZwpxyAe2uYE/s320/612.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
Where there are floors of water fountains....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0sfuDxHB71c/ToS5rTU8A5I/AAAAAAAAAMk/R0_QmOZrzww/s1600/613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0sfuDxHB71c/ToS5rTU8A5I/AAAAAAAAAMk/R0_QmOZrzww/s320/613.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
...and skies of glass and clouds!<br />
And a whole restaurant of DESSERTS! Only desserts! Only CHOCOLATE desserts!!<br />
And Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Bvlgari and Gianna Versace boutiques.<br />
Yeah. I took my south-Texas flip flopped self into the Gucci store where I laughed at the prices of purses and belts and was stared down by three-piece suits who were probably close to calling security. Pay $798 for a purse?! L.O.L.!!!<br />
<br />We stayed for five days and still didn't make it to all the casinos. I really wanted to visit the Venetian, where you can take actual gondola rides. Sigh. But we did visit....<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.stratospherehotel.com/?gclid=CI7z__aOw6sCFcTD7Qod3R8Fqw">Stratosphere</a><br />
<a href="http://www.caesarspalace.com/casinos/caesars-palace/hotel-casino/property-home.shtml">Caesar's Palace</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mirage.com/?CMP=KNC-Google-Mirage_Corp&utm_source=Google%2BAdWords&utm_medium=CPC&utm_term=las%2Bvegas%2Bhotels&utm_content=Las%2BVegas%2B-%2BAccommodation&utm_campaign=Mirage%2B--%2BGeneric%2B-%2BExact">Mirage</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mgmgrand.com/?CMP=KNC-Google-MGM_Corp">MGM Grand</a><br />
(they had a lion habitat inside the casino!!!!)<br />
<a href="http://www.excalibur.com/">Excalibur</a><br />
(Meh. Not my kind of thing.) <br />
<a href="http://mandalaybay.com/default.aspx">Mandalay Bay</a><br />
<a href="http://www.circuscircus.com/?CMP=KNC-Google-CCLV_Corp">Circus Circus</a><br />
(Old with BIG cockroaches! But an indoor roller coaster as well!!) <br />
<a href="http://www.luxor.com/?CMP=KNC-Google-Luxor_Corp">Luxor</a><br />
(Here we saw <a href="http://www.luxor.com/entertainment/bodies.aspx">two </a><a href="http://www.luxor.com/entertainment/titanic.aspx">exhibits</a>.... Click the links!! Titanic was awesome!!!) <br />
<a href="http://www.riolasvegas.com/casinos/rio/restaurants-dining/carnival-world-buffet-detail.html">Rio</a><br />
(Awesome buffet! It's like two miles long with an ISLAND of desserts!!) <br />
and <a href="http://www.treasureisland.com/?utm_source=gpds&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=treasureisland&utm_campaign=brandtreasureisland">Treasure Island</a>.<br />
<br />
We didn't go inside all of them, but we did walk by and/or see their outside performances. <br />
Ahhhh.... Vegas. Oh yeah!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EJNgZedbiHE/ToS_n5xpHYI/AAAAAAAAAMo/OU0Z7mN_F60/s1600/1181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EJNgZedbiHE/ToS_n5xpHYI/AAAAAAAAAMo/OU0Z7mN_F60/s320/1181.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Recognize this little place? I'll give you a <a href="http://www.history.com/shows/pawn-stars">hint</a>...<br />
Awesome! But what's NOT awesome was the wrapped-around-the-block line to get inside. Yeah. We didn't go in, so sue me. Chum Lee and the Old Man probably weren't there anyway.<br />
<br />
And on we go....<br />
We were pretty tired now, so my behavior in the car was particularly horrible.<br />
Our next attraction was the <a href="http://www.usbr.gov/lc/hooverdam/faqs/faqs.html">Hoover Dam</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DGiGM0vdFRU/ToTAbAPscWI/AAAAAAAAAMs/Hp-jK-7Kthw/s1600/267.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DGiGM0vdFRU/ToTAbAPscWI/AAAAAAAAAMs/Hp-jK-7Kthw/s320/267.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Coming up on Lake Mead....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EF9V2isCPyo/ToTAdc1R4pI/AAAAAAAAAMw/dTG1kYN6o-k/s1600/272.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EF9V2isCPyo/ToTAdc1R4pI/AAAAAAAAAMw/dTG1kYN6o-k/s320/272.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
....and going over the dam.<br />
Didn't stop. Didn't get out. Didn't collect $200. That's why there's a link, people.<br />
Our absolute last stop before hitting the Texas state line was at the <a href="http://www.meteorcrater.com/">Barringer Meteor Crate</a>r near Flagstaff, AZ.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LHOSfdFP71c/ToTBRO3YfEI/AAAAAAAAAM0/r4fu2t3u2sE/s1600/thumbnail.aspx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LHOSfdFP71c/ToTBRO3YfEI/AAAAAAAAAM0/r4fu2t3u2sE/s1600/thumbnail.aspx.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
(Not my picture, BTW.)<br />
<br />
And thus ended our two week, multi-mile, cash-sapping family vacation!!<br />
WE HAD A BLAST!!!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-78905253149937094592011-09-27T13:05:00.001-05:002014-07-03T16:48:46.043-05:00Eight Years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dN6CCQFIAx8/ToIPjWjBEKI/AAAAAAAAAKE/xZVkwMyu3NQ/s1600/28453_401177283620_579543620_4482893_3517183_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dN6CCQFIAx8/ToIPjWjBEKI/AAAAAAAAAKE/xZVkwMyu3NQ/s320/28453_401177283620_579543620_4482893_3517183_n.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Eight years ago today, I married this guy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The most amazing, supportive, loving, attentive guy on planet Earth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He is an awesome Dad, a great officer, a wonderful friend, and excellent husband.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I love you ! !</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(By the way, 2011 minus 2003 is eight, right? Okay. Good to go.)</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-58705628938897990422011-09-17T14:42:00.002-05:002011-09-17T14:43:00.003-05:00Another, Shorter, Lag of Blog<div style="text-align: center;">
This time my lack of blogging has nothing to do with my laziness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This time, my son spilled water all over the keyboard.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not all of the keys work.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So unless you would like to read the tale of Granny's recycled panties or our vacation to Las Vegas without the use of the letters L, M, B, G,A or punctuation, you'll have to wait until our new laptop comes in next week.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
See you then!!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-22226431944969380992011-08-31T19:08:00.001-05:002011-08-31T19:10:26.504-05:00More Money, More Problems<div style="text-align: center;">In my previous post I mentioned that we were now $109K in debt because we bought a house.</div><div style="text-align: center;">What I forgot to mention is that if we pay this off in 30 years at the fixed 4.5% interest rate, we will actually be paying $230K ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !</div><div style="text-align: center;">AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH ! ! ! !</div><div style="text-align: center;">Also....</div><div style="text-align: center;">difference between rent and mortgage: $230</div><div style="text-align: center;">between the old water bill and new water bill: $20</div><div style="text-align: center;">old electric bill and new electric bill: $100</div><div style="text-align: center;">That adds up to an additional $450 in expenses, all with a ZERO increase in income.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm using my $200 per month from babysitting for groceries.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Meanwhile....</div><div style="text-align: center;">SOMEHOW we have accumulated $440.45 on our credit cards.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The interest on one card added up to $1.32 on one and $5.63 on the other.</div><div style="text-align: center;">AND I'M MAD ! ! !</div><div style="text-align: center;">I have NEVER paid interest on a credit card before, and this $6.95 is haunting me.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm reading up on strategies to get out of debt, success stories, frugal families and their frugal habits, gardening, homemade shampoo, and extreme couponing. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I know, I know.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Even Dave Ramsey says that a home mortgage is the only "good" debt to have. But I still can't help but roll around in bed trying to decide if I should sell my plasma to help whittle away at that $440.45 ON TOP OF the $109K. </div><div style="text-align: center;">BUT... God is getting us through this! We just received a check for $60 from our former apartment complex when they originally wanted $1400 for replacing the carpet (long story). And we've also received another check for $55 from the balance of our cable account when we cancelled it. We also received another check for something that I cannot remember right off hand. James will be getting a 3.5% raise in October and I will receive the balance of my financial aid then as well. Our electric bill is $30 lower than last month and I switched our home and auto insurance so our mortgage payments will go down. </div><div style="text-align: center;">By the way, our mortgage will hereby be referred to as "Mort."</div><div style="text-align: center;">More later. Got homework.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-41193830295965393102011-08-26T21:33:00.001-05:002011-08-26T21:34:10.749-05:00Wow. Long Time No Post ! !<div style="text-align: center;">So.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Since my last post we've been kinda sorta busy.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Caleb turned seven. Lily turned nine.</div><div style="text-align: center;">James is still a police officer and loving it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I have seven more classes to go and I'll be graduating with an Associates in General Studies.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We bought a three bedroom, two bathroom house.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We love it!!!<br />
(I've never been $109,000 in debt.)<br />
(I'm tripping out.)</div><div style="text-align: center;">We adopted a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed-breed_dog">transient</a>. His name is Hunter.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_water_dragon">Chinese Water Dragon</a>.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's been over 100 degrees for most of this summer in Texas!!</div><div style="text-align: center;">I hate it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I still babysit.</div><div style="text-align: center;">My nephews are still adorable.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We took a two week vacation to California and Las Vegas. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Be jealous.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And... that's about all for now!!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-26145572939717436242011-05-09T21:47:00.003-05:002011-05-09T22:00:28.642-05:00Top Ten For Today<div style="text-align: center;">Top Ten Things I've Been Doing Since My Laptop Died<br /><br />1. Read a few books, notably:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Came-Back-Heaven/dp/1414336098">The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven</a><br /><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7824322-between-shades-of-gray">Between Shades of Gray</a><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Half-Broke-Horses-True-Life-Novel/dp/1416586288">Half-Broke Horses</a><br /><br />2. Finished this semester of college. Only six more classes to go!!<br />Biology 1 and 2<br />English 2<br />Government 2<br />some learning framework thing<br />Algebra (UUUUUGGGGHHHHH)<br /><br />3. Caleb graduated to the Wolf rank in Boy Scouts!!<br /><br />4. Lily is making great grades in school!<br /><br />5. James loves his job!<br /><br />6. I folded all the laundry today!!<br /><br />7. We're in the process of buying a house!!<br /><br />8. Uummmm.....<br /><br />9. I've run out of stuff to list.<br /><br />10. The End!<br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-46273914569012438662011-05-09T21:42:00.001-05:002011-05-09T21:42:52.135-05:00Long Time No SeeWow! It's been a long time since I've written on my blog!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-21482754081086446942010-12-03T20:55:00.002-06:002010-12-03T20:57:52.144-06:00School<div style="text-align: center;">FINAL GRADES (ESTIMATES)<br /><br />Remedial Math: 90's<br />Business: 80's<br />Speech: 90's<br />Economics: some negative number<br /><br />So I still don't know what I want to be when I finish school or what I generally want to accomplish in life. Besides raising two decent Christian kids and keeping the husband from an early death by anxiety. But whatever. I'm still praying about it!!!<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-48334789514367726022010-12-03T20:45:00.003-06:002010-12-03T20:49:31.624-06:00Christmas 2010<div style="text-align: center;">Everyone is getting homemade gifts this year.<br /><br />That's all I have to say.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-45683341034786337722010-12-03T20:37:00.002-06:002010-12-03T20:45:54.710-06:00But... When Do I Get Help Losing Weight???<div style="text-align: center;">My cat is bulimic.<br />My daughter is anorexic.<br />And I'm peeved.<br /><br />As of late Hal has had a propensity to barf abnormally large amounts of food an abnormal number of times. The first time he was also running a fever and received antibiotics. This time I think he'll be okay. Well, according to my checkbook he BETTER be okay.<br /><br />Lily was recently diagnosed with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive">ADD-I</a> (thanks, sperm donor...) and started taking <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisdexamfetamine">Vyvanse</a> on Wednesday. In case you're too lazy to follow the link, it is an amphetamine. Meaning that while she is able to concentrate better in school and get her work done, she also obsessively cleans her room at 11 p.m. No joke. Also, she comes home from school with intricately drawn pictures of stockings hanging from a fireplace. She has also lost much of her appetite, meaning I have to force her to eat.<br />Lovely.<br /><br />Meanwhile.... I have lost a little weight thanks to GOD ALMIGHTY and His strength that He gives me to jog on the treadmill. I am so thankful!! I just need a little more patience....<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-29820579856780763982010-11-26T20:28:00.002-06:002010-11-26T20:30:46.650-06:00All I Want For Christmas Is My Sanity-- Obama, healthcare, Black Friday deals, Sarah Palin<div style="text-align: center;">The above title is meant to increase the traffic on this blog.<br />We'll see if it works.<br />So. Thanksgiving has come and gone, and so has Black Friday. UGH. Who wants to camp out in sub-zero degree weather for a stupid I-Phone?<br />NOT ME.<br />I would rather stay in my nice warm bed and be thankful for what I have.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-35255139513933644872010-11-05T12:52:00.002-05:002010-11-05T13:00:50.745-05:00Why I Do't Think I'll Ever Get A Ticket From My Husband<div style="text-align: center;">**Beee-WOOOP**<br />"Good evening ma'am, I'm with the SAPD and I pulled you over for-"<br />"Seriously? We're gonna do this? I have to get home and deal with your children."<br />"As I was saying ma'am, I pulled you over for going 37 in a 35 m.p.h. lane."<br />--stare--<br />"FINE. I'll play but only because you're cute in your uniform."<br />"License and registration, please."<br />"Oh, okay. Um... here you go, OFFICER."<br />....<br />"You gonna run me for warrants, too?"<br />"Do I need to, ma'am?"<br />"L.O.L."<br />"Luckily you came back clean."<br />"Geez, that's great!"<br />"But I'm afraid I will be writing you a citation for speeding."<br />"Is your supervisor in the car or something?"<br />--stare--<br />"Are you SERIOUS?!!"<br />"As a heart attack, ma'am."<br />"You know speeding tickets are expensive and I don't have a job right? My HUSBAND makes all the money."<br />"I'm sorry for your situation, ma'am."<br />--stare--<br />"Oh well. I guess my husband won't be getting that new "Bloody Gory Cuss-Wordy War of the Universe Big Gun and Noise" X-Box 360 game."<br />..........<br />"Have a nice day, ma'am."<br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-10559934118519811582010-10-21T23:10:00.003-05:002010-10-21T23:16:14.919-05:00McDonald's<div style="text-align: center;">I have come to find out that having a daily exercise routine makes me seriously crave sodium and fat. Namely, a Big Mac and fries.<br />So today the kids and I went to McD's to partake of their horribly nutritionally defunct food-ish products. The kids were excited because they are touting their annual Monopoly scheme and the kids WERE GONNA WIN BIG.<br />I arrive from the counter with out trans fats and meat byproducts and Caleb grabs his apple slices (ok, so there was ONE healthy thing there). He then proceeds to SQUEEZE THE BAG UNTIL IT POPS. Like a GUNSHOT.<br />I swear I heard the whole McDonald operation slow just for a moment.<br />Heaven knows it got noticeably quieter, if only for a few seconds.<br />A few, LOOOONG seconds.<br />I didn't turn around, but judging from the speed of which Caleb dove under the table, I'm pretty sure all patrons were looking at us. I just hung my head and let the moments pass, and operations returned to normal.<br /><br />I'm glad McD's doesn't have security.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-71897133082624343042010-10-11T15:47:00.002-05:002010-10-11T16:10:53.108-05:00Update On Life<div style="text-align: center;">Okay so, what have I been doing whilst NOT blogging?<br /><ul><li>I have really been depending on GOD to help me exercise and become healthier. I guess I came to the end of myself and had the realization that my way is the fat way. So every day it is my goal to spend some time in the Word and then use that spiritual fuel to do my workouts. So far, so good! The only falls off the wagon are due to my own unfaithfulness. And the stomach bug. Ugh.<br /><br /></li><li>James is a for-real police officer now and I guess that makes me a for-real PO's wife. As in I get to hear him tell me about his night at three a.m. (groggy, "Wha???") and learning to speak in 10-code because he forgets I am a civilian.<br /><br /></li><li>Lily may have <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive">ADD-I</a>, which means she cannot keep her attention on one thing for any significant amount of HEY IS THAT A DEAD SNAKE?!!! IT'S A DEAD SNAKE!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT SNAKES IN SCIENCE CLASS?!!<br /><br /></li><li>After much heart-searching, prayers and 6 years of trial and error, I have come to the realization that my son's brain is possibly affected by his parent's bad genes. As in, I ask him to draw his feelings and he comes up with storm clouds, lightning, rain and BOOM BOOM BOOM across the bottom of the notebook paper. But other days it's a little boy sliding down a rainbow screaming "WEEEEE!!!" So I have given him a feelings journal for him to express himself. Before he was expressing himself in various negative ways, thereby getting him into trouble and causing him to be more angry, etc.<br /><br /></li><li>My sister got a new car and I didn't. *pouty face*<br /><br /></li><li>This semester I am taking speech, remedial math, macroeconomics and principles of business. Speech is interesting, there are 35 students, 4 of which are over the age of 22. Math is coming along good. Business is simple. But Macro? Holy cow!! Do you know how to calculate our national savings, a.k.a how much we as a nation save?<br /><br />Y= C + I + G + NX<br />where<br />Y= production or aggregate income<br />C= consumption<br />G= government spending<br />NX= don't know what it stands for but it's zero because we are in deficit.<br /><br />OH. And there's a T and a PV and a PS in there but I can't remember where they go so that's how I'm gonna fail Macroeconomics.<br /><br /></li><li>I joined a thing where you are paid to review books on Amazon but it turns out that they don't have the most stellar reputation for payments...<br /><br /></li><li>Lily is in Girl Scouts and Caleb is in Boy Scouts and since James is an officer they will all be in the Veteran's Day parade and I guess I'll stand on the sidelines like a dumba$$ by myself.<br /><br /></li><li>My cousin's two year old SHAKES YOUR HAND when you greet him. And I think he says "Vote for Ike" on occasion. Not sure though.<br /><br /></li><li>Little bro is still in Italy *pouty face* and nephews, who are here, are busy tossing upper respiratory infections back and forth.<br /><br /><br />And that's all I can think of!!<br /></li></ul></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23940877.post-44398892269253488582010-10-11T15:41:00.002-05:002010-10-11T15:47:03.310-05:00YAY!! A New Post!!<div style="text-align: center;"><ul><li>Greek yogurt SUCKS!!! It tastes like goat!!! And I've never had goat!!!<br /><br /></li><li>The stomach virus SUCKS!!! And no one will come over and let me give it to them!!<br /><br /></li><li>Kids and husbands SUCK!!! They didn't get the stomach bug!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Driving across town 12 times a week SUCKS!!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Having to write a speech about something that totally doesn't interest you SUCKS!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Make-up SUCKS!!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Fruit that makes my mouth itch and my lips swell SUCK!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Never seeming to find the time to blog SUCKS!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Christmas shopping SUCKS!!!!<br /><br /></li><li>People who update their Facebook 1,498 times a day SUCK!!!<br /><br /></li><li>Getting really into a blog and finding out that they only write every other month, and then remembering I have a blog that hasn't been updated in forever SUCKS!!!!<br /><br /></li><li>I can't think of anything else right now!!!!</li></ul></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0