Do I Look High?

This is an account of my evening shortly after taking my sleeping pill:
Man, I'm groggy.....
Guess Hebrews will have to wait until tomorrow.....
(clumsily put away Bible and notebook, sit on side of bed for 1 minute)
Man, I'm hungry.....
(stumble to kitchen)
Man, this light is BRIGHT....
(stare at contents of refrigerator)
Mmmm, milk.... What goes with milk..... cornflakes! Oh yeah!
(make ginormous bowl of cereal)
Hmm.... SUGAR!! Yum yum sugar yum yum....
(dive into gargantuan bowl of cereal)
This spoon is so small, I wish I had a bigger one.... Maybe if I pile it real high with cereal I'll make up for the spoon....
(drop clump of cereal and spoonful of milk on shirt)
Darn.
(clean up mess, resume eating)
Man, this cereal is good....
(finish cereal)
Hmm.... more cereal! Yum yum cereal yum yum....
(start on another big bowl of cereal)
Yuck.
(throw rest of cereal out, groggily turn off light and go to room)
Wow, the house looks kinda cool in the dark.... kinda swirly.... wait..... am I high?!
(laugh uncontrollably in the dark for thirty seconds, stumble to bed)
Ha ha ha, that was SOOOO funny! I'm high, I think! Ahahaha!!
(start making mental checklist of "how to know if you are high")
Munchies... hrmm... half a box of cornflakes smothered in sugar would qualify... lights and colors extremely highlighted.... um, yeah....
(forget what I was doing)
Huh?
(yawn)
Man, I'm tired....
(laugh uncontrollably again)
Man, I'm high off sleeping pills!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!
(fall over and go to sleep)
I guess that's why you're supposed to take 2, because only taking 1 leaves you in between sober and flat-on-your-face asleep, similar to the side effects of cannibis, our favorite little plant in high school. It was fun though!

The Brains of Children

My mom and dad have been divorced for a while now, both remarried as well. Try explaining that concept to a four year old! My dad and his mom came over on the fourth to visit, and Lily started in on her research of the family tree.
"Papa Punkin, is that your mom?"
"Yeah, she is."
"Taryn, is this your dad?"
"Yeah." Thinking.....
"Taryn, is Mimi your mom?"
"Yeah." Still thinking........
"Papa Punkin, are you Mimi's best friend?" I can just see the wheels in her head turning....
"Well, she used to be."
Oh my, Lily is really confused! But she didn't say anything else about it.
He-child is always losing his cup. And I frequently get tired of looking for it. The following is a common conversation we have:
"Mama! Un koolade!"
"Where's your cup?"
"Where is?"
"Go find it and I'll get you something to drink."
"Un koolade!"
"Okay, go find your cup."
"Where is?"
"I don't know, I don't drink out of it. Go find it."
"Aww man...." Walks out of the room, head down and bottom lip out.
A few seconds later.....
"Mama! Un find it!"
"You can't find it?"
"No!"
"I don't think you looked for it."
"Eah I did!"
"C'mere, let's look for it."
Walk out of the room, and stumble over the cup.
"Look Caleb, what's that?"
"You find it! Un koolade mom!"
How many years until pre-k?