The He-Child Sings And Other Things

I've been reading a lot of Dr. Seuss lately. Can you tell?
That song by Marky Mark, "Good Vibrations," came on the radio and Caleb was in the back seat saying "Uhhh.... yeah.... uhhhh......uh huh... Mom, this is my favorite song!!"

Lily got glasses two weeks ago. They cost $375 because they had to have a prism and bifocal lenses (thanks, Z, for that contribution). She looks so cute!

Lily type:
1 is the best number uv oll.

Scope Poke

James recently had a scope done by his gastrologist to determine if he had any ulcers, green mold etc. in his stomach. I escorted him to the hospital to drive him home after the procedure. When he finally had the thing done (they didn't have him scheduled for that day, or any other day for that matter; the usual 2 hour waiting room wait time and another hour "behind the curtain"), I was looking forward to getting out of there because I was hungry and grumpy and stuff. But no. We had to wait another 30 minutes to make sure "he handles the anesthetic alright." He didn't die when you put him under, he's fine now! So I endured 30 minutes of my husband coming off of his high.


"Whoa!! That was amazing!! They like wheeled me in there, put this thing on my face, and I was like asleep! Just like that! It was like the best short nap EVER. What was that stuff? Can you like buy it? I bet I would sleep a lot better at night. Hey, probably you would too! That was so cool, I was like OUT LIKE A LIGHT and then BAM I was in here. I gotta call Justin and let him know everything went well. We put up some of those lights in that house on the lake. See how they are recessed like that? That was so awesome. BAM!! OUT!! Is that the pictures of my stomach? Wow! It looks kinda cool! What are those bumps, do you think they're normal? I didn't even feel that scope thing, I mean I saw it but I went to sleep so fast and wow, it was over quick! Hey you should keep these pictures and scrapbook them! Wouldn't that be cool? No? Are you sure? Man, I'm hungry. Can we leave now? Wendy's sounds sooo good right now. One of those bacon double cheeseburgers, maybe like TWO I'm so hungry!! Oh hey nurse! Yeah, doing good just kind of hungry. Did you see my pictures? Gross huh? Yeah I wanted to get this done because I might be deployed here pretty soon and my parents were all worried that I would get over there and have something like MAJORLY wrong, so I thought I'd get it checked out, you know, calm the parents down. Can we take these pictures? Are you sure? Cool, thanks!"


Then I had to take his high self to Wendy's. It was fun. Then I went to Melissa's and left him at home to come off his high alone, because when you're the only sober one it sure isn't fun.

The He-Child Fibs

Lately we have been struggling with Caleb fibbing. Small things, I know, but eventually they will grow into larger things. We're just trying to get it under control now while we still can.

Papa: "Whoa boy, it stinks in this bathroom!"
Caleb: "Mimi did it."
Mimi: "I did not!!"

Me: "Caleb, did you draw on the counter?"
Caleb: "Uh, nope."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"Come here and look at it."
--trudges over--
"See, that looks like scribbles. Lily usually draws names, hearts and caricatures of her family members. This looks like something you would do."
--smiles, looking up at me--
"So... did you draw on the counter?"
"Uh, nope!"
"Who do you think did?"
"Uh, Lily!"
"Lily isn't here. It's just you and me, and i don't draw on counters."
--smiles--
"So I think you need to go get a washcloth and clean this off."
"Uh, okay!"

Weight Loss Motivation

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago because I haven't been sleeping well. Actually, I hadn't been sleeping at all. She ran all these tests that required quarts of blood and my liver enzymes came back elevated. On I went to the imaging center to have a sonogram done. They got the results back today and guess what? I have a fatty liver. The doctor said to diet and exercise and come back in three weeks for follow-up blood work. But the best part was when she said that in three months if my levels weren't normal she would be lowering or eliminating my antidepressants ("You know, because regular exercise produces endorphins and maybe you won't even need those medicines!"). I looked at her point blank and said "No you won't." Flabbergasted, she said "Uh, what?" I told her we wouldn't be messing with my antidepressants because I've tried it and it DID NOT WORK. She said we will see in three months.

I don't think she really understood how close she came to being beheaded with the sheer force of my brain waves. You don't mess with a crazy person's medications, especially if you're an R.N., C.N.P. If anyone is going to play Russian Roulette with my head, it's going to be a doctor with as many psychological letters behind his name as scholarly possible.

But if she insists, I could always do what my mom suggested: move in with her until my fatty liver is gone and I can restart my antidepressants.

On a lighter note (pardon the pun), I've lost 5 pounds!! WOO HOOO!!!!!

Lily's First Paragraph

"Mom liks wrc. Dad liks wrc to. I lik et and Mom dusnt plas (play) weth us. But Dad plas weth us." Yes, I do!!

Have you ever had writer's block? If you want to know what it feels like, pick a wall in your house, back up 3 feet and run into it repeatedly. There you go.

James got a laptop and I'm feeling, uh, left out of the fun.

A bass guitar: $169.00

PlayStation 2: $130

Guitar Hero 2: $80

Acer laptop: $710

A low maintenance wife: priceless