Muscle on the Brain

Ah, the joys of having a gullible husband.
You may already know how James is prone to over stressing about some things, like a door being locked or executing a birthday party according to schedule, minute by minute. There are several quirks that amuse and irritate me, but for the most part I just ignore them.
Unless it starts to cost us money.
Specifically, money on items that I believe aren't necessary.
Like, say.... body building supplements.
James has found a great way to keep himself occupied in Iraq, because apparently not much is going on over there. (If there was, I wouldn't know about it anyway.) He has started to lift weights two hours a day. Every day. Like, EVERY DAY. His roommate is into body building supplements and made the mistake of showing them to James and explaining what they do. Then BAM! Here comes our credit card statement.

"Um... so, what is Atro-Phex?"
"It's this stuff that helps you feel better and uncover your abs."
"Feel better? Oh, like when it says 'Atro-Phex has simply incredible effects on mood, overall appetite suppression, ... energy... and cognitive performance'?"
"Yeah."
"So... you're taking legal methamphetamine?"
"What? No!"
"Uh, yeah you are...."
"Whatever."
"Okay, what is CellMass?"
"It increases the mass of your cells."
"Oh my gosh."
"You asked!"
"Okay. What is Nitrix?"
"That one enhances your size."
"Your size?"
"Yeah."
"Like the size of your..."
"No, the size of my muscles. Pervert."
"It IS a muscle, HELLO."
"Not that kind of muscle."
"Right... so what does NO-Xplode do? Exactly what it says since you're taking all this stuff? WAIT... is it an anti-diarrheal?"
"No. It intensifies your workout."
"Do what?"
"It helps your focus on your workout and keep you clear headed."
"Moving a weight up and down sure seems complicated..."
"Well it helps keep your mind on the workout."
"Instead of your mind wandering into the desert or something?"
"I guess so."

So basically we spent $175 on protein, whey, speed, and caffeine. Those muscles sure look nice though!!

They Call This Wise?

If you are even remotely familiar with the military and it's procedures/policies, you will know that they require every adult over the age of 18 affiliated thereof to have their wisdom teeth removed if they will be stationed abroad. Why? I have no idea. They say it's to avoid complications later on down the road. I think they just like to make us do it.

Guess who is affiliated with the military?
Guess who may be living abroad within the next year or so?
Guess who is less than six months from the "cut off" age for removing wisdom teeth because the jaw tends to not grow back properly?
Guess who got really bored last Monday and said screw it, let's get this over with?
That would be me.

So I meander over to the teeth ripper outer dude and he discovers that I have an extra wisdom tooth hiding around on the upper left side. I knew I had two, I was just confident that they were the only ones I had. X-rays have come a long way. Apparently my regular dentist doesn't use those new-finagled contraptions. GREAT.

The next week I come in, mother-in-law in tow, for what I figure would be a gruesome, bloody tug-of-war with an elderly dentist. I have so many great things going on now-a-days. I sit back and he starts an IV and pretty soon I'm watching some green blob on the ceiling morphing into different shapes. Maybe it was the nurse. Who knows.

The next thing I remember I am being escorted to the car and driven home. Actually, I was such a trooper we stopped by Wal-Mart before heading home. I can't remember what I bought. Something unnecessary, I'm sure.

Then the pain started to kick in. It wasn't too bad until the ginormous ibuprofen stopped effectively paralyzing my jaw. Then I had to move on to Vicodin (poor me). Only for two days though (sigh). I managed to pry my mouth open to look at the crater on the bottom and was surprised to see actual jaw bone growing together. Cool!!

I brought the teeth home to show the kids. They looked like Pops cereal pieces. Seriously. Those suckers were huge, with tree roots! The kids liked them, though they were disappointed upon the realization that they couldn't take them to school to show their friends. ("But MOM. I will keep them a SECRET. PROMISE.") Now I have to decide what to do with them. Keep them for DNA extraction just in case? Sell them to a voodoo shop? Make a necklace?
I guess they'll just sit on my dresser for now. I just can't bring myself to throw them away.

Oh, one last little bit:
Guess which military couple decided to request stateside instead of overseas assignments, thus rendering the whole surgery utterly without purpose?
That would be us.

Weekly Weigh-In 4

Ugh. Getting back into the routine of things after having three teeth yanked out and skipping a week of exercise is easier said than done. On the upside, I lost one pound. On the downside, after the pain abated I regained that pound and one more. Listen to me mourn over two pounds! Psh!!

Weigh-In: 221

Lost: 9

To Go: 41

New Baby!! 2

My new nephew
KASHDON MYKEL IS HERE!!

February 9th, 2009
7 pounds, 7 ounces

Weekly Weigh In 3

Not much to say about this grueling week!!

Weigh In: 220
Lost: 10
To Go: 40

Weekly Weigh In 2

So these last couple of days I have been slacking off a little. Okay, a lot. The Superbowl party tonight didn't help, either.
Anyone know of a reliable scale out there?
My scale says 230.
Granny's says 224.
Mom's says 223.
I'm gonna go with.... Mom's.

Lost: 7
To Go: 43