Vag Finder

My husband and I always have the same conversation most nights. It goes something like this:
"Look at this gut!" (jiggles his imaginary gut)
"Oh please."
"No really, look. I'm holding a good inch of fat here."
"You are not fat."
(turns to the side) "Yeah, I am."
"Look down. Can you see your penis?"
(laughing) "Yeah..."
"You know what? When I look down, I see stretch marks. No vagina. So you cannot be fat because your fat isn't blocking your view of your penis. Now shut up."
"You aren't fat, babe."
"Until I can see my vagina I am."
The defense rests.