Operation: Communication

I'm pretty sure I have commented before on my husband's neurotic obsession that terrorists are tapped into all of the B. family's phone lines and that he MUST NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, RELEASE ANY INFORMATION THAT MAY IN ANY INDIRECT ROUTE REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT THE MILITARY, ITS OPERATIONS, TRAINING SITES, TRAINING ACTIVITIES OR WHERE THEY USE THE BATHROOM. It used to really irritate me, but now I have fun with it.

"So, uh, I was just calling to let you know that I made it."

"Made what?"

"I made it."

"Made WHAT?"

"I, you know, GOT HERE."

"You left?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"A little while ago."

"Like 30 minutes? Three days?"

"Something like that."

"So where are you?"

"You know."

"I forgot."

"You KNOW."

"Oh, you mean in Oklabraska or Ohifornia?"

"I only have 20 minutes on this phone card."

"What phone card? Did you buy it?"

"No. They gave it to me."

"Who?"

"THEY did."

"Who is THEY?"

"Are the kids there?"

"No. They left."

"Oh. Did my Dad take them somewhere?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Nope."

"Are they outside?"

"They're... you know..."

"What?"

"YOU KNOW. That's where they are."

"Um.... at school?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I gotta go."

"Go where?"

"GO."

"WHERE?"

"I love you. Talk to you later."

"Where are you going?"

"Bye."

"WHERE ARE YOU? I haven't seen you in four months!! Did the government kidnap you for some secret mission?"

--click--

Other conversations have gone something like this:

"So, what are y'all doing in training?"

"Oh you know, stuff."

"Stuff? Wow, that sounds awesome! Do you have fun doing stuff? Man, I wish I could do stuff."

"You know, like military stuff."

"Oh, MILITARY stuff? That's even better! You have the life, doing stuff, and stuff doing stuff. Just imagine, me and my friends doing... stuff!!"

Or this:

"I was just calling to let you know I may not be able to call you for a while."

"I really? Why is that?"

"Well, you know."

"Um, actually I don't because you always talk in acronyms and code."

"You know, I'm... going... somewhere?"

"Where are you going?"

"I told you already."

"Um, not really you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"So when are you leaving."

"You know. Soon."

"Soon? Like today? Or tomorrow?"

"Something like that."

"Well, you-know-what me when you get you-know-where so I'll know that you arrived you-know-how."

"Um... okay."

Seriously. This is insane.