8.22.2006

Penis Perils

My first child was female. No problem. I'm female, so I've had some experience in this field. Five years later, so far so good. My second child is male. Hrmm. Some differences, but not many. Shouldn't be too hard, right? Well, we got through the trial and error of circumcision (note to new parents: vaseline does keep the skin from sticking to the diaper, but also makes the diaper waterproof. Translation: pee all over the baby and his sheets, or whoever he's laying on). After that it was smooth sailing. Now we're in year three: potty training and the discovery of his flappy, apparently indestructable appendage. I swear, it has been through yanking, twisting, crunching, thumping and pinching. Does it have nerve endings? I guess not. I have also discovered, like their grown up counterparts, boys' appendages need very little stimulation to go from flappy to not flappy anymore. Seriously, try changing a diaper and wiping poo off the thing. You can't get it down.
The other day I had spiderman "panties" on him (hey, when you live with two girls you have to adopt their language), trying to get him to enertain the thought of pottying. I found him sitting on the couch, appendage exposed, with him hammering it with his toy hammer. And of course, the appendage was not in its natural state. Hrmm.
"Caleb! Don't do that!"
"Why?"
"Because you'll hurt yourself. Come here."
As I am trying to replace appendage in it's cloth cage, he starts banging on it again.
"Caleb, I said stop."
"I try get it down!"
Here's where I start rolling over laughing, while trying to think of something to counter that comment with. What a witty observation!
"Just leave it alone and it will go away," I try, but it makes me laugh and he doesn't seem to understand. So I go get a diaper. The old "out of sight, out of mind" always does the trick. Do all little boys do this? Do they just grow out of it? Will he be in diapers until high school? Maybe I'll keep one on him even then....

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