I had to go back to the dentist to get my fake crown put on while waiting for my real crown. I wish I was talking about a tiara. But I'm not. I drive to the dentist's office at eight in the morning, so I'm already a little off whack. I get to the office, sit down, and after about ten minutes I get this message from my lower intestines: EVACUATION COUNTDOWN 10...9...8... What?? I try to ride it out, but then I get the signs that I need to go NOW. You know, the cold flashes and goosebumps. That grab-the-handicap-rail-this-is-gonna-be-fun need to go. By the time I'm called to the back, I've gone to the bathroom twice, and people in the waiting room are looking at me funny. I don't care. I sit in the dentist's chair (the chair of torture) and take an x-ray and I think it's going to be okay. But it wasn't. Back to the bathroom I go, hi ho, hi ho. When I walk back into the room the hygienist cheerfully asks "Is everything okay?" I wonder how long it took for her to retrieve that plastic cup from her tonsils. Apparently not long because in a matter of minutes she has it in my mouth along with the dentist's two instruments and a "cheek pad" that doesn't really pad anything. Then they had the nerve to comment "You sure do have a small mouth. You should consider getting your wisdom teeth removed." No, YOU should consider removing seven of your fingers. That would be an immense help. Luckily I made it through the 1.5 hour ordeal with no accidents or interruptions. THAT didn't happen until I got into the car to drive the 30 miles home. I kid, I kid! Sorry, no accidents for my lovely, sick minded blog readers. But I was praying for mercy the whole way home, and made a beeline to the bathroom as soon as I hit the front door. Maybe I was just nervous. Maybe I just needed a good blog subject. Nevertheless, I return to the dentist in two weeks to get my porcelain crown. (I asked for gold, but my insurance refused to cover it. Bummer.)
God and I have been going around and around with several issues, namely my insomnia. I guess I stepped when He pulled or something, because I've started taking my sleep meds and spending more time in the Word and voila! I have been sleeping great! In doing so, I have learned:
Children can be enjoyable.
It is possible to get up at 7:00 a.m. every day for a whole week.
I don't really need that donut/cake/cereal/muffin/ice cream.
Pilates can be fun.
It is possible to do Pilates every day for a whole week.
You aren't as irritable when you sleep well.
It is possible to do your school work every day for a whole week.
Teenage boys can mistake you for a college student at the ice cream store (ok, I needed THAT ice cream).
Last week I went to the dentist to get two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. Aren't they supposed to wait for the numbing gel to take affect before shoving a 12 gauge needle into your gums? I guess not. I also think that God should have put zippers on our cheeks so that the dentist and his assistant could get all four hands in there comfortably. Seriously. I think they had seven instruments in there at one time, telling me to "Move your jaw sideways so we can work here." How about you just pop the joint out and relieve both of our suffering? I guess both cavities were pretty bad because he gave up trying to fill them and said, "I think you should consider getting crowns put on these." I said go for it, he said pay me $600. I sighed.
I also took the kids to the dentist for the first time. Let me tell you, two colors that the hygienist should NOT be finding in one's mouth is yellow and black. Eewww. On the plus side, Caleb did really well, almost falling asleep while his teeth were being cleaned. They couldn't get bite wing X-rays because of his gag reflex, and when asked what flavor of toothpaste he wanted he answered, "All of them?" No cavities for either of them! We had a time trying to convince Lily that the dentist wasn't going to pull a surprise tooth-yank and that the X-ray machine wasn't going to fry her brain, but we finally got her calmed down. She had a lot of plaque, but we got that all cleared up. Woo hoo!!
Don't you just love those sweepstakes? I do. I recently received a notice int he mail that some car company happens to have a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu Hybrid that they just can't get rid of, so they're going to give it away! And it could be all mine!! Upon reading the fine print, I see this:
"The winner will be informed by registered mail no later than February 17, 2009. In order to win the prize, the selected entrant MUST FIRST CORRECTLY ANSWER A TIME-LIMITED MATHEMATICAL SKILL-TESTING QUESTION TO BE ADMINISTERED BY TELEPHONE.
What?? How ridiculous! Not only to you have to beat out four billion other contestants, but then you have to answer a math question. From the phrase, "time-limited mathematical skill-testing" I suspect the question won't be along the 2+2 lines. Good grief!!
I've had another one of those "how do these things happen to me?" episodes.
I was shaving my armpits in the shower, arm extended, hand on the wall, left hand shaving. When I was done I brought my razor down and across and...
nearly amputated my right nipple.
I kid you not.
So I stood there bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and wondering why I was still bleeding for a few minutes until I could survey the damage. Not deep, but long and perfectly curved around the, uh, nipple part?
Then I decide what the heck, might as well shave my legs; until I nicked my ankle. That was when I decided I'd better quit while I was ahead because shoot, I don't want to cut off anything IMPORTANT.
I get out of the shower and head to the kitchen where the Band-aids are, and all I can find are kid ones. Batman ones. Batman TATTOO ones. Awesome. Batman is now officially abreast.
In other news, check out my additions to the blog! I've added some new links to blogs I read; a couple are downright hilarious! Oh, and I have a follower! Woo hoo! Follow me people!! Also, down at the bottom I have a National Geographic picture of the day thingy and a place where you can subscribe to my blog. Enjoy!!
Sorry folks, with all of this raising kids, going to school, fighting for a good night's sleep, walking in faith and tending to my deployed husband I haven't had much time to blog.
The kids started school and Lily loves it, though she swears up and down that "I did NOT go to school ALL DAY in kindergarten. I came HOME." After a couple of shaky days Caleb has started to like pre-school and has recently told me that "Only the cool kids get to do the chicken dance." Um, OK.
My school started as well. I am taking Business Computers (each chapter is 60+ pages), English (easy), Government (fairly easy, except for the 1500+ word summary I am supposed to write on a debate over global warming...blah), and Psychology (very interesting!). I've always liked Psychology, but so far this course is too easy; I have a total of five assignments for the whole semester (so far). Ever try to explain to a six year old how the different parts of the brain are layered in a skull? "So... the green part goes on TOP of the blue part? I thought the pink part was there. Is it really green?"
Sleep is sleep, I don't get enough of it and I end up taking naps during the day. Last night was an exceptionally good night; hopefully tonight will be too.
I am currently working my way through The Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore. I highly recommend it. The book chronicles the life of John and the ways we can adopt his faith into our lives.
James is still in Texas, though he will be leaving for another state soon. Three months down, twelve more to go!!
Last but not least, I'm voting for Obama and you can't change my mind. Peace out.