You would not believe it.
Since my last post there has been a house fire, a tornado, a giant three eyed monster attack, malaria outbreak, computer crash, skydiving adventure and a loss of twenty pounds.
Not really.
But I tried to give you a good excuse for not blogging more. Weren't you wondering at least a little?
Actually I have been struggling to keep an interest in my school work, dragging myself onto the treadmill, forcing my children to gag down cough syrup every four hours, playing Instant Messaging Tag with my husband, mindlessly rooting around on My Space and sleeping.
I did clean out the car this week though. Vacuuming and everything! I have also made it to all of my Bible studies... though none of the actual church services.
I love my kids, but good grief they are annoying when they're sick!! Lily isn't so bad, she just mopes around and watches T.V. Occasionally she requests water or a sandwich.
Caleb, on the other hand...
He walks around the house whining about absolutely anything that enters his mind, from taking medicine to Sponge Bob not being on. He demands water, juice, a jelly sandwich, take out chicken strips and soup, all of which is flippantly rejected upon delivery. He throws a fit when I try to get him to blow his nose, complains about his clothes being dirty and wonders aloud why I am so terribly mean to him.
Excuse me??
Who shared her body, food and oxygen with you for ten months?
Who pushed your big old head through a seven inch hole?
Who hunted down countless pacifiers in the dark while you wailed?
Who changed those awful diapers whose consistency was a strange stage between solid and liquid?
Who rinses out your underwear when you have an accident?
Who doesn't even gag while cleaning up your puke?
Who lets you use HER computer?
Who answers all of your questions, no matter how unanswerable? ("Mom, how did God make shark teeth so sharp?")
Ah, but I get paid in big hugs. Not hourly, but often enough.
It's a sad day when you resort to paying your children to take their medicine.
They both have a dry-erase chart on which they place a check for each medicine taken. When all six squares are checked, they receive a quarter.
And here I thought this would be simple!
The Rules For The Chart:
1. A vitamin and a chewable pill count as ONE medicine.
2. Liquid medicines are counted separately, with a three count maximum.
3. There is a two quarter a day maximum.
4. Two dimes and one nickel equals a quarter.
5. Five nickels equals a quarter.
6. A handful of pennies equals a quarter.
7. Quarters from Nana's purse count as payment, even though they are technically Nana's.
8. Mom reserves the right to issue an IOU.
9. Once six quarters are earned, Mom is allowed to make change with her dollar bills.
10. Mom reserves the right to FREAKING TEAR UP THE CHARTS IF SHE WANTS TO.
Good grief.
My grandfather told me the other day he was talking to someone in Missouri or Minnesota or Timbukktu who reads my blog. YAY!! Thank you!! Spread the word!!
