Softball: Enjoy Responsibly

There comes a time in every young girl's life when the opportunity to play sports presents itself; to teach you responsibility, accountability, teamwork, and the joy of physical exertion.
I told it to eff off.
Lily said "Bring it on!!"
I carefully explained to her the consequences of (Mommy paying $50 for her to play and then her getting tired of it and wanting to quit) being on a team, that others depended on you (and your lazy Mom to haul herself off the couch) to show up for every practice and every game. I also explained to her that this was a commitment (of monetary proportions) that I would (grudgingly on Saturday mornings) hold her to. She was all head-nodding and "Yup!" "Uh huh!" "Sure!"
So, I signed her up and took her to her first practice.
Which I have since likened to military Live Round Training.
You get a gaggle of seven year old girls together and give them softballs and bats, someone is going to suffer.
Namely, the parents sitting on the sidelines yelling "Incoming!!" and "Whoa!!"
What is it about the female physique that necessitates the "princess throw" and the "flower child" run? Oh, and who's coaching?
Two men in their thirties.
They do have a female assistant coach to help them out when the players seem unable to comprehend statements like "You gotta hustle, girls! Gotta pull 'em together and get it done!!" because naturally little girls are thinking, "Hustle...bustle? Like a dress? Oohh, a dress!" and "What are we pulling and where? I thought we were playing softball...."
Oh and here I am trying to help Lily by practicing at home, only I didn't do any sort of sports ever so my throws don't look nice and tidy like her coaches' do: "Mom! I'm over HERE!!"
Sigh. The blind leading the blind.

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