Pieces Of Me

I got this wild crack head idea yesterday that I would try waxing my legs for the following reasons:
1. We're going out for our anniversary this weekend.
2. The waxing strips were on sale.
3. If this went terribly wrong, I'd have one really funny blog to write.
Guess what happened.
So I buy the crap and get home and prop my leg on the coffee table because I'm really out of shape and I can't put my feet on the floor and bend over my gut to see my legs. I follow the directions:
Rub the strip between your hands to warm it.
Place it on the leg.
Rub in the direction of hair growth for five seconds.
Rip it off.
Honestly, it didn't hurt that bad. I liked ripping off my epidermis, which is exactly what happened. I lost the first layer of skin BUT NO HAIR. Tell me how that's possible! It's not! Only for me! So now the only thing that works to remove my leg hair is shaving. I've tried depilatories, all of them, and now cold waxing. With the results I got, I won't be trying hot wax any time soon. I tried re-waxing, but that was kinda hurting. Plus, the following objects were now glued to the coffee table:
My foot.
My cell phone.
Six wax strips.
A washcloth.
A child.
(Hey, she wanted to stick her finger on it, so I let her. I bet she doesn't do it again!)
So I gave up and went upstairs and shaved my legs. Now, I don't know if the waxing, the shaving or an allergic reaction contributed to my results, but here they are:

I hope you can see the pieces of my skin that are missing/flaking off. So much for "Sexy, smooth legs for up to four weeks!!" This sh*t hurts.
You can click on them to make them bigger. The third one really is AWESOME.

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