Another Writing I Found Today

Just when you think you’ve put everything behind you, that you’ve effectively buried your past under heaps of dirt and concrete, something happens that reminds you that your past is still there, right behind you, under every step you take and shaping every decision you make. For some those reminders come once in a while, others more regularly. For others, like me, it happens daily, my past baring its teeth and swiping its claws at my happiness. No specific thing sets it off. You can be standing there and suddenly you smell a certain smell, hear a certain phrase. You’re caught off guard and BAM! The past pulls you back into its clutches and you have to fight with everything you have to come out on top again.
Sometimes I get tired of fighting it. Is it a sin to sit back for a few moments and relive your past, savoring old tastes, relishing old emotions? Imagining, just for a moment, that your husband is one of your past lovers? That you have no children? No responsibilities?

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