Driving Tips For You Idiots

1. If the speed limit in a school zone is 20 m.p.h., I'm going 20 m.p.h.!! Quit honking at me because you're running late!!
2. At a four way stop, the person who gets there first goes first. If two people get there at the same time, the person on the right goes first. If four people arrive at the same time, SOMEONE GO!! It doesn't matter who!! Quit playing chicken!!
3. Get off my bumper. It's really annoying and I WILL brake check you.
4. This is one for the stupids delivering children at the school. Don't walk out in front of a moving vehicle with two children!! I can't count the times an aid has done this and if I hadn't been watching... well, you can guess.
5. If you have your blinker on, please turn somewhere. Anywhere.
6. To the lady going 35 in her Hummer down the main strip: you paid $60K for all that horsepower, use it! Or are you trying to save on gas?
7. If I take longer than 0.2 seconds to gun the gas when the light turns green, don't honk at me or I'll just sit there and make you even more late.
8. If you have a super cool bass system, blare it in your driveway. It impedes my concentration, scares my kids and makes you look stupid.
9. Spinning hubcaps really bother me. I tend to stare at them instead of the road. Spin them in your driveway please.
10. Don't try to pass me when we are both turning left at the same intersection. That's stupid and dangerous.

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