Muscle on the Brain

Ah, the joys of having a gullible husband.
You may already know how James is prone to over stressing about some things, like a door being locked or executing a birthday party according to schedule, minute by minute. There are several quirks that amuse and irritate me, but for the most part I just ignore them.
Unless it starts to cost us money.
Specifically, money on items that I believe aren't necessary.
Like, say.... body building supplements.
James has found a great way to keep himself occupied in Iraq, because apparently not much is going on over there. (If there was, I wouldn't know about it anyway.) He has started to lift weights two hours a day. Every day. Like, EVERY DAY. His roommate is into body building supplements and made the mistake of showing them to James and explaining what they do. Then BAM! Here comes our credit card statement.

"Um... so, what is Atro-Phex?"
"It's this stuff that helps you feel better and uncover your abs."
"Feel better? Oh, like when it says 'Atro-Phex has simply incredible effects on mood, overall appetite suppression, ... energy... and cognitive performance'?"
"So... you're taking legal methamphetamine?"
"What? No!"
"Uh, yeah you are...."
"Okay, what is CellMass?"
"It increases the mass of your cells."
"Oh my gosh."
"You asked!"
"Okay. What is Nitrix?"
"That one enhances your size."
"Your size?"
"Like the size of your..."
"No, the size of my muscles. Pervert."
"It IS a muscle, HELLO."
"Not that kind of muscle."
"Right... so what does NO-Xplode do? Exactly what it says since you're taking all this stuff? WAIT... is it an anti-diarrheal?"
"No. It intensifies your workout."
"Do what?"
"It helps your focus on your workout and keep you clear headed."
"Moving a weight up and down sure seems complicated..."
"Well it helps keep your mind on the workout."
"Instead of your mind wandering into the desert or something?"
"I guess so."

So basically we spent $175 on protein, whey, speed, and caffeine. Those muscles sure look nice though!!

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