4.26.2009

Dieting: Not For The Faint Of Heart

So James has been on this supplement kick for a while now, and while his results do look nice, I don't think supplements are right for me.
Case in point: Arson. Now, before I start taking any sort of supplement, I wanted to check it out to make sure it was safe. No harsh side effects or anything. On the website it flashes:
TORCH FAT!!!
PEELED TO THE BONE CONDITIONING!!!
GET ABSOLUTELY SHREDDED!!!
WITH RAPID WAVE PULSE TECHNOLOGY!!!

Okay, first, are we burning fat or cutting meat? Shredded? Peeled? Wave pulse? Whatever. Now for the ingredient list:

Caffeine
Caffeine
Green Tea Extract
White Willow Bark Extract
5 ingredients that start with Gamma

So... it's a cup of coffee with a special stick in it with some eighteen letter ingredients for flavor?
Awesome.
Now for the directions:

Take three caplets twice a day. Start off taking one caplet once a day, to assess individual tolerance (WTH??). Do not take within five hours of bedtime. Stay hydrated.

And the warnings:

Don't use if you: are under 18, have had a heart attack, are pregnant or nursing, are sensitive to stimulants, are taking antidepressants or an MAOI, or if you have ANY medical condition or have a family history of ANY medical condition. Don't exceed recommended dosage or combine with any other sort of caffeine.

RIGHT. That pretty much eliminates... everyone.
What the heck, you had me at fat burner. So I take one pill and... nothing. James advises me to keep taking them because "they're still doing something, even if you can't feel it." Okay. Three days later I decide to up the dosage and take two. Big mistake. We were at a restaurant.

"Hmm. This place is like really popular. Like, really busy and stuff. Did you know they have a Betta fish IN THE BATHROOM? Seriously! It's all floating around and looking at you while you try to do your business and hey! Look at those lemons! Aren't they pretty? It sure is hot in here. Are you hot? No? Okay. The food here is like so awesome, I'm glad we came here. Maybe we should come back tomorrow too. And the next day! If it's not too busy. This is a pretty busy place. I need more tea. You're not hot? Good grief it's hot in here. I could sure use more tea. Do you know how they make Splenda? It's really quite interesting..."

Yeah. No more of that stuff. James was weirded out and my mother-in-law didn't know what to think. That, and the "crash" was something out of a bad drug movie. Blah.
So I sent it with James. It keeps him "focused." I bet so.

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