Home Sweet Home

So James just had his two week leave. Now he's back in the sandbox, and not the fun kind either. We had so much fun! The kids had him on the trampoline at least two hours of each day, we ate at every restaurant within a fifty mile radius, visited several family members, went to the IMAX theater in Fort Worth, and chilled out on the couch watching movies most nights. Heaven.
Oh yeah, and the sex part. That was nice too.
The only problem with him taking his leave early was that I and the kids were in school the whole time.

"So... we should take the kids out of school a little early today."
"Um, why?"
"You know, so we can go do stuff."
"Like what?"
"I dunno. We could take them to play putt-putt golf or something."
"You gonna write that on the sign-out sheet?"
"I think they will understand, with their dad being home and all."
.....
"So... I'll go sign them out real quick."
"NOW?"
"Yeah?"
"It's 9:30!!"
"Yeah. Maybe I should wait until eleven."

Now what James couldn't understand was why I didn't want to get them out early every single day he was home. First, I see them all day, every day. Their school hours are my "me" hours. Secondly, there are state laws that require kids being in school most hours of most school days. Sadly, this is true for children of deployed soldiers as well.

"Well they should understand, you know, with me just getting home and all."
"Yes, I know. But state and school laws are a little like military law. Only the brainwashed understand it."
"Well, they should make an exception for our kids."
"I know and you know and everyone else knows, but that isn't going to change the laws by itself."
"Well.... they should just do it. The principal will understand."
"So you want him to risk his job and lie for us to be able to get the kids out of school?"
"I'm pretty sure he would do it."
"You're insane."
-----
(poke,prod,pry)
"Um, excuse me. I'm reading my History textbook."
(poke poke)
"WAS reading."
"I need to read this for my test."
"I'VE got something you can study..."
"Oh please. You sound like a teenager."
"I FEEL like a teenager..."
(poke poke)
"Seriously, this is due today."
(poke)
"Please?"
(poke)
*sigh*
"Can I read WHILE you do that?"
"Works for me!!!"
-----
James also came home some twenty pounds lighter. Sigh.

"Hey, um, we need to go by Wal-Mart before we go home."
"Why?"
"I, uh, didn't bring any clothes with me."
"What? Why?"
"Because they, uh, don't fit."
"You didn't bring ANYTHING with you?"
"Nope."
"Not even SOCKS?"
"You would be surprised."

Sometimes I really hate men.