Our Story


I found this pretty cool website. You create a page about yourself by answering a jillion questions. Then your family and friends can log on and spend hours reading about you. Here's some I'll share with you:

>>How did you first get the news that a new baby would soon join your life?
How did I get the news? How does anyone?? I peed on a freaking stick!! With Lily I was in the bathroom at school, and my first thought was OH SHAT. Caleb was planned, so I was pretty excited.

>>How did you respond when you first heard that you were expecting a baby?
Lily: OH CRAP. He said he got kicked in the balls and couldn't have kids!! WTF?!! Liar! Liar! Look at the stick, you moron! Two pink lines not one!! Stupid! Look!!
Caleb: Yay!!! What a great wedding present! Now he's really stuck with me for life!!

>>How did you and your partner meet, fall in love, and take the first steps that led to this new baby?
Oh gosh. What steps did we take?? Are you serious??

>>Did your baby "happen" easily, or did it take some work to bring him or her into your life?
You people have me ROLLING!! Um.... Lily only took three months and endless bottles of liquor. So I guess she "happened" relatively easily. Caleb came just four weeks after a miscarriage. Eager little fellow, eh? So I guess he was an easy baby too, though with both I didn't do much work. Isn't that "his" job?

>>What musical, artistic, or other self-expressive talents emerged during your teenage years?
I liked (and still do like) to write. I would write some pretty creepy stuff and then end up burning it. I've started about 30 journals, including food journals, and have never gotten past the first week. Oh, and in my freshman year me and three of my friends tried to be witches. You know, candles and crap. Does that count as artistic? Maybe more like self-expressive....

>>For professional recordkeeping, list the details of your job title, the company you work for, your manager, and the duration of your employment in this role.
Title: Mommy
Company: Oops I Did It Again, Inc.
Manager: God, husband, in-laws, mom and granny.
Duration of Job: FFOORREEVVEERR!!
Job Duties: short order cook, poop cleaner, dish washer, clothes washer, bather, wiper, potty trainer, chaperone, negotiator, interpreter, lost items retrieval, walmart marathon shopper, checkbook balancer, dresser, cat rescuer.

>>Name and provide titles and roles for any employees or assistants that you manage or supervise.
I have one assistant, his name is James. He moonlights as a husband. He performs the duties previously listed if I am doing more than three things at one time. Doesn't need much supervision, requires menial wages (namely anything lacey or "hands on"), and will eat almost anything. Has been an asset to the company for three years now.

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