You Know You're A Mom When....

10) You notice you haven't showered in three days... and it doesn't bother you.

9) It takes you a week to clean the whole place. You live in an apartment.

8) You never get to spend time with company that comes over because you are busy doing the chores you normally are unable to do with the children around (washing clothes, doing dishes, scrubbing toilet).

7) When someone complains about their stomach problems, you say "Huh! You wanna talk about explosive bowels, lemme tell you about the time my son...."

6) You don't sing lullabies. You hum Dora the Explorer or Blue's Clues.

5) When your daughter asks if she can burn the house down, you look around and tell her you'll think about it.

4) Hold, feed and sing to a baby while going potty? Got it down pat.

3) You find 7 socks and 1 pair of underwear in your kid's hamper that have molded.

2) Sometimes your toddler goes to bed with a dirty face.

1) You find yourself sitting in a disaster of marshmallow cereal, sobbing and wishing that you had left that drunk guy on the floor alone so that maybe the monsters that call you mom would still be remnants of your ovaries.

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