So, the proverbial cat has been let out of the bag.
(Stay with me here.)
Back in July (I know, I know!), Bio and his wife invited us to their son's first birthday party.
Can we say... awkward?
So after much thought, I decided to attended said soiree.
Now God and I have been having an ongoing conversation regarding this subject. I basically went back and forth and back again, what do I do, when, why, how. The usual. I ended up giving it to God and saying, "Okay. If you want me to tell her about all this, please move her to start asking questions."
And she did.
It began a couple of months before when she and Caleb began asking how babies were made, her three Nana's and three four Papa's and all that fun stuff. When I told her about going to the birthday party, she asked "Am I related to him, too?" And I just felt at peace, so we took a trip to the little bitty town I graduated from and told her the story of her birth.
Leaving out the screaming, crying, jail and child support, of course.
I explained conception as two special Legos, also called cells, one that a woman has and another that a man has, and when they love each other or even THINK they love each other these two Legos connect and make millions of other Legos. But instead of making a city or the Eiffel Tower, they make a baby. Skin, hair, organs, legs, etc. She understood, or at least nodded her head.
Then I told her that I didn't get the second Lego from her Daddy, I got it from another man. And since I did, she was technically his biological daughter, because biological is when one Lego comes from a certain person. Thus, she was my biological daughter and his biological daughter, since our two Legos came together to create her. To further complicate matters, if he uses any of his other Legos with any other woman's Legos, she would be related to them, as well.
So technically, she had three little half brothers and one little half sister.
Her response? "Aye yi yi!!!" *shaking her head*
*Which is exactly what I thought!*
That was just a summary. She asked a lot of questions and I answered them. Then I asked if she understood, and she repeated the story in her own way.
(Did I mention I have some genius genes in that there pool?)
So then she asked who the other Lego came from, and I told her it was a man named Z.
Not really Z, but you know.
Lets call him.... Zazu, which is Hebrew for movement.
LOL. A little inside joke, I suppose.
Anyway, I explain that Zazu is her biological father, but that when she was born he wasn't ready to be a father yet. So I went and found a man who WAS ready to be a father, and that man is her Daddy.
And she asks what she could call him.
"Uh.... Zazu, I guess."
"Yeah, or bliologlical father."
"Yeah, you could call him that I suppose. But it's kinda long."
"What about Father?"
"Umm...."
"But not Daddy, because he wasn't READY to BE a daddy. He wanted to be a FATHER. But DADDY was READY to be a daddy, and that's why he IS my Daddy."
"EXACTLY!!"
Then I went on to explain that he would like to visit her occasionally, and I also explained that he could only come over if SHE wanted him to. Then we talked about the other kids he has. Then we went to the birthday party, where she helped out her "little half brother" swim, open presents, etc. We took pictures. She said hello to Zazu, but didn't ask any questions.
And she hasn't mentioned him since.
Which doesn't bother me in the least.
(Stay with me here.)
Back in July (I know, I know!), Bio and his wife invited us to their son's first birthday party.
Can we say... awkward?
So after much thought, I decided to attended said soiree.
Now God and I have been having an ongoing conversation regarding this subject. I basically went back and forth and back again, what do I do, when, why, how. The usual. I ended up giving it to God and saying, "Okay. If you want me to tell her about all this, please move her to start asking questions."
And she did.
It began a couple of months before when she and Caleb began asking how babies were made, her three Nana's and three four Papa's and all that fun stuff. When I told her about going to the birthday party, she asked "Am I related to him, too?" And I just felt at peace, so we took a trip to the little bitty town I graduated from and told her the story of her birth.
Leaving out the screaming, crying, jail and child support, of course.
I explained conception as two special Legos, also called cells, one that a woman has and another that a man has, and when they love each other or even THINK they love each other these two Legos connect and make millions of other Legos. But instead of making a city or the Eiffel Tower, they make a baby. Skin, hair, organs, legs, etc. She understood, or at least nodded her head.
Then I told her that I didn't get the second Lego from her Daddy, I got it from another man. And since I did, she was technically his biological daughter, because biological is when one Lego comes from a certain person. Thus, she was my biological daughter and his biological daughter, since our two Legos came together to create her. To further complicate matters, if he uses any of his other Legos with any other woman's Legos, she would be related to them, as well.
So technically, she had three little half brothers and one little half sister.
Her response? "Aye yi yi!!!" *shaking her head*
*Which is exactly what I thought!*
That was just a summary. She asked a lot of questions and I answered them. Then I asked if she understood, and she repeated the story in her own way.
(Did I mention I have some genius genes in that there pool?)
So then she asked who the other Lego came from, and I told her it was a man named Z.
Not really Z, but you know.
Lets call him.... Zazu, which is Hebrew for movement.
LOL. A little inside joke, I suppose.
Anyway, I explain that Zazu is her biological father, but that when she was born he wasn't ready to be a father yet. So I went and found a man who WAS ready to be a father, and that man is her Daddy.
And she asks what she could call him.
"Uh.... Zazu, I guess."
"Yeah, or bliologlical father."
"Yeah, you could call him that I suppose. But it's kinda long."
"What about Father?"
"Umm...."
"But not Daddy, because he wasn't READY to BE a daddy. He wanted to be a FATHER. But DADDY was READY to be a daddy, and that's why he IS my Daddy."
"EXACTLY!!"
Then I went on to explain that he would like to visit her occasionally, and I also explained that he could only come over if SHE wanted him to. Then we talked about the other kids he has. Then we went to the birthday party, where she helped out her "little half brother" swim, open presents, etc. We took pictures. She said hello to Zazu, but didn't ask any questions.
And she hasn't mentioned him since.
Which doesn't bother me in the least.
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