"Thank you for calling the Crossings book club customer service, how can I help you today?"
"Yeah, I got a bill in the mail for some books from ya'll, and I didn't get them cause I never ordered them. I'm not a member of Crossings."
"Okay, let me look and see what's going on. What is the account number on the invoice?"
"Ok, just one moment please..... Oh I see here that we sent you blah blah and blah (seven books by Joyce Meyer). How would you like to pay today, with a credit card or from your checking account?"
"Um, neither because I didn't order those books from you, I ordered them from One Spirit. And I already paid them."
"Ma'am, we show that you received the books. How would you like to pay today?"
"I don't WANT to pay because I didn't receive the books from YOU, I got them from ONE SPIRIT."
"There's no way you could have gotten them from One Spirit ma'am because it shows you ordered them through us. "
"So I went to One Spirit.com and paid them and they just took my money for books they didn't send?"
"I would call them to straigten out that issue, ma'am."
"I'm telling you I didn't order the books from you, ya'll must have gotten something mixed up. Please cancel my Crossings account."
"I can't do that ma'am, because you have a balance of $34.98 that needs to be paid. We accept credit cards or checks over the phone. Which would you like to use today?"
"YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT LISTENING TO ME. I DO NOT HAVE A CROSSINGS ACCOUNT, AND I'M NOT PAYING YOU FOR BOOKS I DIDN'T ORDER!"
"Can I do anything else for you today?"
"Yes. You can close the Crossings account we've been talking about for ten minutes now."
"I can't do that ma'am, there is a balance of $34.98. How would you like to pay today? We accept checks and credit cards over the phone."