Darn Old People

Why can't old people leave us alone? HaHaHa Just kidding Granny. But really, I was at the gas pumps yesterday and I was washing my windshield with the sqweegie thing they have out there, and this older lady came up behind me and said "Excuse me!!" I turned around and saw that she was reaching down to get the air hose by my feet, so I said "Oh, sorry" and moved aside. I thought the encounter was over. Wrong. The next thing I hear is "WELL YOU WERE SLINGING WATER EVERYWHERE SO I HAD TO SAY EXCUSE ME!!" What was her problem? So I turned around and said "YEAH, AND I APOLOGIZED." Now, I didn't yell like she did. I simply raised my voice an octave. I guess I pissed her off cause she got in her car and drove off. Good grief!
Now I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this next story, but hey, it's funny. My brother Zac and his wife Raysha were walking in Walmart, her pushing the basket and him behind her. He reached over and pecked her on the cheek (sweet huh?). Then this older woman says "EXCUUUUSE ME! GO DO THAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Was this out of line or what? I mean, they weren't making out in public, and yeah they look young but hey they both had their wedding rings on. So Raysha GOES OFF on this woman, like "Oh I don't think so, it's none of your business yada yada yada" with her finger pointed and everything! The funniest part is they were standing in the middle of Walmart fighting with an eighty year old woman, and when she turned to walk away, still muttering under her breath, Zac had to DRAG Raysha out of the ring! When they told me this story I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants. I would have paid my own plane ticket to see that.
And last but not least, I almost got run over in the Walmart parking lot by an older woman. I had Caleb sitting on my left hip, and I was walking on the left side of the isle because some moron was driving in the right side. So I'm walking along, minding my own business, when WHAM! something hits my left knee. Now before this episode I was under the impression that you had to learn how to look in your mirrors before backing out of your parking space. I guess not. Some older lady had backed into me! It didn't knock me over, but it did kinda push me. I looked over and in her rear view mirror I could see she had a shocked look on her face. Now I know this wasn't very Christian like, what I did next, but I was pissed not that she had nearly run over me but that I had my son with me too. So I gave her an ugly look, flipped her the bird, and stormed into Walmart.
Next time I go to Walmart I'm going to wear neon yellow and a sign that says "I don't have nine lives, please look before you back up!!"

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