5.21.2006

Nine Questions of the Times

1) WHY do they have to put 500 q-tips in those darn boxes?!! Do they like to sit around and imagine us poor parents picking them ALL up??

2) Do single serving mac and cheese's have a purpose? Why not make the economy box, you know they're gonna eat it!

3) Do they make kid repellent for single people? What about wrung-out parents? What does it smell like? Peas?

4) Is it REALLY that heart breaking when a horse breaks it's foot? Look up that race horse on yahoo, holy crap people were "weeping in the stands" and the sponsor person ran out screaming "don't put it down, i'll buy the horse! don't kill it!!" Were they weeping for the money they lost? And is that story about how they euthanize injured horses ON THE TRACK (right after they fall) accurate? C'mon people, children are dying of starvation daily yet we bawl over a horse....

5) Why do they even offer the 50 ounce tube of toothpaste? Do they KNOW you have a two year old eager to squirt it all on the bathroom floor?

6) And why do they put all the ice cream on sale the same week you start a new diet? I think it's a conspiracy..... They want us to be fat! Fat people make the world go round!

7) Why isn't birth control mandatory for girls between the ages of 13 and 20?

8) Why does a cat who is helplessly tangled up in one of your bras (I mean almost unable to move) fight you when you try to get it off her?

9) Why do cats think your tossing and turning at night is an invitation to gnaw on your toes?

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