Diary of a Mad White Woman

Today I went to the child support office and officially forgave three thousand some odd dollars, AGAIN. Apparently the first time wasn't good enough for them. So we signed court orders declaring this and forgiving that and then we were left alone while she went to make copies of said orders. THE LONGEST 94 SECONDS OF MY LIFE. While nothing was said, I could tell there were a lot of unspoken words in the air. Maybe they were all from me. Probably. There were some unspoken un-words there too, like f*$#%ng $&*t and d@$& !*s. When it was over and done, I heard a meek "thanks" as I was leaving. I said he was welcome. Getting in the car I found myself utterly PISSED OFF. Why? I don't know. I really don't. I have no regrets about the decisions I've made concerning him and Lily. BUT.... through prayer and time alone with God, I think I got it all out of me. The candy bar helped too. Godspeed, Bio.

My History Assignment

There are two events in my past that permanently changed who I turned out to be today. The first occurred on November 3^rd, 2001 at 10:13 a.m. That was the day my daughter was born. Without much ado the doctor handed a squalling, pink ball of human to me, a seventeen year old senior in high school without a clue. I looked down at her with amazement and fear, wondering where to go from there. We went home three days later and thus began my transformation into the person we call mother.

I didn’t know much about babies except how they were made (a little too late for that one) and that they made a lot of noise and stink. The first two weeks were filled with round-the-clock feedings dispensed with tiny three ounce bottles, unexpected projectile vomiting, a million foul diaper changes and little sleep. What sleep we did get was often interrupted when the baby swing needed to be cranked up again, which she delightfully announced with shrill cries. I soon learned that I could rock the swing with my foot while asleep. I also learned to recognize the small noises indicating an impending eruption and that a diaper bag must be taken everywhere, every time. I developed the keen ability to use the bathroom one handed and bathing her without half drowning the poor child. People underestimate the value of a spouse. As I didn’t have one I was doing it all alone, what we call being a single mother.

I went back to school three weeks after she was born. I was now a single student mother, riding the bus with my infant daughter and doing homework while burping her. Science is a lot more fun that way, if you ask me. Not long after, I was instructed by my father to get a job. I was now a working, single, student mother. When I started working as a cashier at the local grocery store I had to hire a babysitter, making me a poor, single, working student mother. When she was seven months old I graduated high school and moved out of my father’s house. I became, you guessed it, a poor, single, working, paying-the-bills mother. But I loved it.

My daughter and I were a team. She would giggle and brighten my day, and I would provide her basic needs. She accompanied me to pick up my paycheck every Tuesday and delighted in riding the conveyor belt. She rarely got sick, ate anything I offered her, and made everyone around her smile. I loved being a mother.

The second event occurred on June 12, 2004 at 3:17 p.m. That was the day my son was born. By then I was a happily married, not working, twenty year old mother. Of two! Again without much ado the doctor handed me a squirming, angry ball of human. But this time I was more prepared for the demands of an infant… or so I thought.

Whereas my daughter ate anything given to her, my son refused every formula and nipple. Changing my daughter was uneventful, but changing my son was a duck-and-switch challenge. Sleeping through the night came relatively easy for my daughter. My son screamed for six months of nights. My daughter delighted in every new person she met; my son only liked three people and loudly proclaimed his dissent among others. What was going on? Why was this so difficult? Did I do something wrong?

Then one day as I was changing his outfit my son giggled. I laughed, he giggled. We carried on. From then on out I accepted his differences with composure and learned to enjoy them. Sure he had to have that pacifier all day, but he looked so cute when he spit it out to concentrate on something that tickled his fancy. Of course he didn’t like most food, but watching him stuff his mouth with something he did like was amusing. I found myself enjoying duo-motherhood.

I chose these events because my world revolves around my children, day in and day out. I would feel lost and incomplete without them. They make me the neurotic, frazzled, muddled mess that I am, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They make me…me.

In My Opinion....

• .... if someone closes a child support case against you, you should be GRATEFUL and say THANK YOU!
  
  
• .... if you offer soldiers a way to put part of their paychecks into a savings account that earns 10%, you shouldn't make it so complicated that they can't take advantage of it!
  
  
• .... if all of the modem lights are green and your computer says it's connected to the Internet, but you still can't check your email or log onto Messenger to talk to your deployed husband, Verizon shouldn't expect a very happy customer!
  
  
• .... if you make and drink all of the Folgers in the house, you should buy another canister!
  
  
• .... if the economy is in the gutter, don't hold out on passing legislation for no good reason!
  
  
• .... if you use the toilet, FLUSH IT!!
  
  
• .... if your four year old boy has turned up the volume on the t.v. and closed the door to his bedroom, don't expect a happy ending!
  
  
• .... if America elects a black president GET OVER IT!!
  
  
• .... if you delete me from your Myspace and expect me to be insulted, you will be sorely disappointed!

Ghost Town

There's a restaurant in town that has gone by many names but has kept one feature: a ghost, supposedly. One named Norton. The restaurant is currently an Italian venue (much to my diet's dismay) and last night we were dining (gorging) there when Caleb mentioned Norton.
"Mom, where does Norton live?"
"Norton is not real."
"Yes he is my principal told me about him!"
"Okay."
Lily: "Caleb! Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"A scary noise!"
"What noise?"
"Like wooooo!!"
"Oh! I hear it! I hear it!"
--silence--
Caleb: "I heard it! I heard it that time!"
Lily: "Mom! Where IS he?"
"He lives upstairs."
"I thought you said he wasn't real!"
"Then why did you ask?"
"Can we go up there?"
"NO."
"Why not?"
"Because there's no stairs."
"Yeah there are, right there in the ceiling!"
"What?"
"That square in the ceiling, that's where they pull the stairs down and go up there and see Norton!!"
"Okay."
"So can we go?"
"No."
"Hey Caleb I know! We can go up there tonight!"
"Yeah!"
"Mom can take us!"
Mom: "No she can't."
Caleb: "We'll get Uncle Jason to go!"
"Yeah!"
"But won't the ghost know we are people?"
???
"Yeah... I know! We can wear our Halloween costumes!"
"Yeah! Then the ghost won't see us being people he will see us being monsters and come out to meet us!!"
"Yeah!!"
"But what if he sees our shoes and thinks we're not monsters?"
--thinking--
"We can just wear socks!!"
"Yeah!!"
"Good grief..."

Weekly Weigh In

So my friend Melissa and I decided we needed more motivation to lose weight, so we came up with a bet: the first to lose 50 pounds in six months wins $200 from the other person. So far, so good. It goes without saying that I am highly dependent upon the Lord for guidance, persistence, and to hide the cookies. Seriously. If God hides them, there's no way I could find them, right? So besides killing myself for 20 minutes almost every day on the treadmill, I've cut my portions down drastically and suffered as I watch my kids eat Hershey's. On the treadmill I imagine I'm walking to Iraq. Sometimes it helps. Most of the time I try to keep from looking at the timer every six seconds. I am impatient, especially when I can't breathe.

Weekly Weigh In: 224
Lost: 6
To Go: 44

Things That Have Been Bothering Me Lately

Why do women have to be pregnant for so long?
Who the heck invented CHERRY Pepto-Bismol? Seriously!!
What the heck does BINOMIAL mean? BINOMEANS you will understand Algebra, that's my guess.
What about RADICAL? It's RADICAL that you think you can do this after not being in a classroom for nine years!!
And how about LINEAR EQUATION? I can't even think of something witty for that one!
Why does mail take so long to get to Iraq?
Who invented the TI 83 and why did they think a calculator needed three functions for EACH BUTTON? Easy to use, psh.
Is it really necessary to sweat when you exercise? Really? Isn't there a better way?
Just because Albert Einstein could work these problems doesn't mean everyone can.
If you can't tell, I've been having a little trouble with College Algebra lately. I haven't been to a math class in nearly NINE YEARS because the last two years of high school I wasn't required to take a math course. That's Paint Rock for you. How did I manage to graduate? Anyway, the first assignment in Algebra is chapter one, which is a "refresher" chapter intended to wake up your mind in preparation for what follows. We were given two days to complete this 100 page chapter, and I don't even recognize this crap. Given the instructor won't even review this chapter before moving on to bigger and harder things inclines me to DROP THIS COURSE and enroll in a remedial one. GO ME.

Another Baby!!!

So my new nephew Kashdon Mykel is still baking in the oven over in Italy and he needs to HURRY UP and be done! C'mon, he's at least medium well. I like my babies a little rosy-cheeked. Just kidding. Date of approximate eviction: February 17th.

Wars of the Weight

This is what happens when you start a diet.
Warfare. Several types.

• The War of Food is pretty self explanatory. You battle with cakes, cookies, sodas, chips, bread, butter, ice cream, cereals, you name it. Your only allies are carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, tomatoes, cucumbers, oranges, berries, apples, and grapes. Oh, and your allies are very fickle. "But I'm only a measly stalk of broccoli! I can't POSSIBLY satisfy you like a cupcake can! Don't ask me to do it, PLEASE, I have shoots and leaves at home!!"
  
  
• The War of Exercise is equally explanatory. As soon as you make the decision to work out, your body suddenly moves slower than my sister getting ready to go to work. S-L-O-W. Suddenly your legs can't support your weight to get off the couch, and your hand has died gripping the remote. Your fingers can't tie your walking shoes and you suddenly have to go to the bathroom. Your body cries out, "PLEASE! Don't make me get on that treadmill! It's a DEATH SENTENCE! I have no chance! I have no backup! These fat cells are utterly USELESS!!"
  
  
• The War of Self-Control is my biggie. It has several allies behind enemy lines that sneak up and attack, usually around midnight:
  -BING!!-
  I want a cookie!!
  Get me a cookie get me one right now, gimme gimme gimme!!
  Hello, I said NOW?!!!
  What do you mean, NO??
  I can have whatever I want!!
  
  
• The War of Lies usually follows next:
  "One cookie won't hurt. Shoot, TWELVE cookies wouldn't move the scale!"
  "Come on, you KNOW you're gonna work out tomorrow."
  "Just one TEENSY little cookie...."
  
  
• Then you have the War of Self-Denial:
  "I didn't eat that cookie. Nope. Wasn't me. Do you see crumbs anywhere? An empty package? I didn't think so. What about my teeth? They're ALWAYS Oreo cookie black. Don't believe me, I don't care. Whatever!!"
  
  
• Last but not least, the infamous War of the Church Clothes:
  "Soldier!! Get me one set of attire suitable for public outings!"
  "Here ma'am, from Old Navy!"
  "Psh! I can't button this over my boobs! Get me another!"
  "Here's a better one!"
  "You know amazing thrift store finds never work!! Hop to it Private!!"
  "Here we go ma'am, perfect! Target never fails us!!"
  "It may never fail you but look at me! No, don't look at me!! Get me another outfit, and it better be right!!"
  "Okay, okay, here we go.... one from J.C. Penny!"
  "You are an utter disgrace. Do you see what we are up against? Look at them, look!! One more chance, Private!!"
  "This is the last one, ma'am. Old faithful, from Wal-Mart."
  "Now you're talking, soldier! Bring it here, and clean up this mess of REJECTS!!"
  

Beer Can Chicken: A Story From Grandpa

While sittin' here on the porch I've been hearin' a lot about this stuff called “beer can chicken.” Best I can figure a person takes a chicken and sticks a half a can of beer up its ass and precedes to put this thing on a charcoal grill to cook. And that ain't all, they stand the thing upright like it was a king or something. Now anybody knows any self-respecting chicken ain't gonna feel right sittin' on its ass on a beer can in a BBQ grill. It just don't seem natural. And besides that, I can see no reason to waste a half a can of beer by stickin' the thing up a dead chicken's ass. BEEER IS FOR DRINKIN', NOT FOR STICKIN' IT UP A DEAD CHICKEN'S ASS. And that ain't all. Charcoal ain't for cookin' chicken, it's for filtering whiskey. If enough people keep burning the charcoal then what the hell are we gonna filter the whiskey with? Whiskey is more important than chicken anyway. And besides that, any good cooker would get insulted with charcoal in it and a chicken with a beer can stuck up its ass sittin' there like the Pope or something.
In conclusion, we here at the Round Table on the front porch figure if you want good chicken you simply build a good old smokey fire in your cooker and gently lay the chicken in there on its back. Then you go drink a cold beer. When it gets done, my faithful dog LD will let you know. Oh, and the beans must be cooked on the stove. It's real hard to keep them from fallin' through the grill on the BBQ.

The Biggies

The way I see it, there are seven major questions a child can ask a parent (so far).

1. Where do babies come from?
2. What is sex? (and all related questions including anatomy)
3. Who is God and why are your beliefs about Him true?
4. What happens when you die?
5. Why do you have to discipline me?
6. Why are drugs, smoking and drinking bad for me?
7. What does it mean to be gay or lesbian?
   

Babies and Birth and Aunts, Oh My!!

I fear that the subject of conversation that I have been dreading between my daughter and I may be approaching. Deep breath.
Caleb recently asked one of the Biggies: "Mom, where do babies come from?"
*groan*
"Babies come from God."
"Oh. How does God get them there?"
"When the time is right for two people to have a baby He gives them one."
"How does the baby get in the mommy's tummy?"
"God puts it there."
Lily: "But how?"
"God puts it there."
"But HOW?"
"He just does."
"But Mom, HOW does He get it in there?"
"God is God and He can do anything. It's easy for him."
"Really?"
"Yeah."

*silence*

"How does the baby come out?"
Caleb: "The doctor cuts open your stomach and pulls it out!"
"Really Mom?"
"Sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
*crap*
"Yeah."
"What do they do the other times?"
"There's another way but we'll talk about it when you get older."
"Okay."
*whew!*

Today we traveled to Lily's paternal aunt's house and of course, like any other five minute or longer car ride, they start asking questions. Why they wait until we're in the car I have no idea.
"Mom, where are we going?"
"To Aunt Melissa's house."
"Where?"
"To Aunt Melissa's."
"AUNT Melissa?"
"Yeah."
"AUNT?"
"Uh... yeah."
"Like an aunt like Taryn?"
*groan*
"Um, kind of. Yeah."
"Oh. Okay."

While we were at Mimi's I also had the pleasure of trying to explain how Adam and Eve were made out of dust, but we are not. I also attempted to explain how the devil came to be, why God killed all the dinosaurs with a big asteroid, was it an asteroid or a volcano, were some dinosaurs nice, what heaven will be like and where the Bible came from. I still would rather tackle those questions than the approaching one, though.

Christmas 2008

It's that time of year again.
Christmas.
Not much bah humbug-ing this year. Just when excessive Christmas music was playing. Grr.
Christmases during deployments are always a little sad, but it helps to remember this is God's plan for us and we should be thankful for the blessings He has given us. So without further ado, here's the rundown of presents we received.

• Girl Gourmet Cupcake Maker: I have been wanting to try this out since we bought it on Black Friday. The commercial claims you can actually bake a cupcake, in the microwave, in 30 seconds. NO WAY. Then you frost it with this handy frosting thing that twirls so the frosted cupcake looks all twirly and stuff. So we get it out and set it up. I mix the cupcake batter and put it into the cooker thing. AND IT WORKED!! It was actually baked! Which makes me wonder what they put in there to accomplish that...on to the frosting. I mix it up and fill the tube with this Pepto-Bismol pink gunk. Then the tip falls off and I now have this crap in my lap. Eewww. So we try again and get the frosting on there but it came out of the tube too fast so it kinda just looks like a tropical bird crapped on the cupcake.
  
  
• Easy Bake Oven: We haven't tried this one yet, but I can't wait!!
  
  
• Pixos: This is another one of those wonder-how-it-works toys. Apparently you use the special pen to place plastic balls on a tray in a design. Then you spray it with water and it stays forever. So we follow the instructions and spray away. It's been seven hours and the designs are gummy and partially stuck together. I don't think this one will be around long.
  
  
• Operation, Connect Four, Sorry! Sliders, and Rhino Rampage.
  
  
• Nerf Powerball Blaster: My favorite. You pump it up to get it to the maximum blasting power and fire foam balls at whoever happens to be passing by. It also makes this weird screaming noise when you pump it that gets louder the more you do it.
  
  
• Diego Triceratops Mountain Thing: This one is going back to Wal-Mart because it's missing a piece.
  
  
• Play Doh: I never learn my lesson.
  
  
• 100 Building Blocks: Ditto here.
  
  
• Fire Truck, G.I. Joe, telescope, binoculars, candy, candy and more candy.
  
  
• A forty billion piece jewelry making set.
  
  
• A dinosaur race track. Who thinks up of this stuff?
  

Now for what I got.

• Honey with Tangerine from Italy!!
  
  
• A purse from Italy!!
  
  
• Chocolate from Italy!! By the way, Italian chocolate has about ten times more fat than American chocolate.
  
  
• Stress relieving body wash, a scarf and fuzzy socks.
  
  
• Two cool T-shirts.
  
  
• A neat picture frame that says "Life... makes the best story" on it.
  
  
• Home made candy.
  

All in all not a bad turnout, present wise and family gathering wise. If I eat any more saturated fat I think I will seriously blow an artery.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE ! ! !

How To Wrap Christmas Presents

Square Present

1. Pick the present that you would like to wrap and appropriate wrapping paper.
   
2. Roll out four feet of paper, place present towards the bottom.
   
3. Measure paper to make sure it will still cover the present after you have cut off the access.
4. Measure twice, cut once.
5. Screwed up anyway, decide to still use the now too short piece of paper.
6. Bring two sides of paper together over gift, ignoring for now the gap between paper.
7. Look for tape.
8. Leave table to find tape.
9. Find tape, return to table.
10. Repeat step 6.
11. Tape paper to present.
12. Turn sideways and contemplate how to fold paper to cover the end and still look decent.
13. Make creases at corners, fold down three times and hold with both hands while you get tape with teeth. Or feet.
14. Wrangle tape onto paper.
    
15. Rip off tape, repeat steps 13-14.
16. Repeat on opposite side of present.
17. Cut a strip of paper from the access to cover gap on present.
18. Place with tape. Hint: If you make sure the design on the paper matches up with the strip, they'll never know!
19. Chase down kids to bring bows back to the table. Affix accordingly.
20. Forget what the present was, tear a small hole at the corner of present and try to decipher contents.
21. Place additional bow over hole in paper.
22. Affix name tag.

Cylindrical Present

1. Follow steps one through four from above.
2. On sides, cut out a square from the paper to make folding down easier.
3. Realize you may have actually need what you just cut off.
4. Roll ends to present and tape.
5. Decide that looks like crap and undo tape.
6. Origami your way to a decent looking fixture and cover mess with a bow, on both sides if need be.
7. Alternative: Roll present up like a burrito and circle tape around present lengthwise.
   
8. Affix name tape.

Round Present

1. Follow step one from above.
2. Tape one end of paper to the object.
3. Roll object across table, taping as the paper naturally comes together. May require several pieces of tape.
4. Affix bows as needed.
5. Don't forget the name tape.

Triangular/Pentagonal/Rhombus Presents

1. Crap, I don't know.

FINAL STEP: Sheepishly sneak presents under tree. Try not to be seen.

Thanksgiving 2008

So like, blogging is a lot harder than you think.
Just thought I would throw that out there.
But I still like doing it.
Anyway.
Thanksgiving 2008 was really cool. Let's see if I can remember everything that happened. The first gathering we attended, we went to my uncle's for a feast where we visited with many relatives. The kids also built a tee pee. It was very nice! We had all of the usual eats and then some. Our second gathering was at my aunt's place where we had killer BBQ and home made desserts. Yum! Grandpa also told more "on the farm" stories. He cracks me up. Oh, and I also saw a dead body on the side of the road. No joke. Apparently she was hit in the middle of the night by some dude "reaching for his spit cup" and we happened to pass just as the police were showing up. That was freaky. Other than that the holidays were pretty normal for this family.

My Name Is Talia

This is the blog I submitted to So, How Was Your Day?
-----

Some would say I am living the American dream. I'm a stay at home mom married to a wonderful husband with a beautiful daughter and adorable son. We make decent money, get along with each other's parent's, and have a cat named Phoebe.
I wake up at 6:55 a.m. and dread the chill of winter that creeps into the house. The kids wake up soon after, and I hustle them into clothes and infront of cereal. My coffee is brewing and I silently say good morning to my husband.
He's not here, you see.
He is in Iraq.
We are a military family.
Nothing like you see on television, thank the Lord.
We're just a normal, everyday family with a long distance father.
The kids are off to school and I drive to the post office. I'm mailing a package to my soldier. The clerk's face immediatly changes as soon as she sees the "APO,AE" on the mailing label. "Oh my goodness, how do you stand him being over there? Aren't you scared? Bless your heart!" I smile and take my change.
I don't want your pity.
I am no different than the thousands of other women who had to say goodbye to their husbands.
We chose this lifestyle, he and I.
He chose to defend our country and I chose to support him.
My online classes have closed for the semester, so my day is free. I visit the library, Wal-Mart and grocery store. Online Christmas shopping is cut short when the kids come stomping in the door, demanding a snack.
Cleaning, feeding, homework, bathing, pajamas, story time. The lights are off and my day has ended.
The nights are a little colder without my soldier beside me. Discipline in the house is a little less effective without my soldier. Dinner is filled with kid-friendly food without my soldier.
But somewhere my soldier is making a difference.
I don't hope for his return. I eagerly anticipate it.
I am not remarkable.
I am not even special.
I am just doing what millions have done since America became a country.
Loving my soldier.

Final Grades

BCIS: A

Psychology: A

English I: B

Government: A

**does victory dance**

One Step Forward

For the past few months I have been trying to think of the most humorous way to kill myself.

(Figuratively.)

Then it hit me as I was walking through Wal-Mart (doesn't it always?): a treadmill.

Oh, what we will spend on the pursuit of health.

$277.85 plus tax to be exact.

So we get it in the house and set it up and I can't even try it out because of my kids.

"But MOM, we learned about exercise today in school and you're SUPPOSED to DO IT!"

Ugh.

So I made the "sacrifice" and let them exercise first.

They loved it.

Now I have to mediate between the two not only who gets to watch their television show first, who gets on the computer first, and who gets to freaking fart first, but also who gets to run on the treadmill first.

But today I actually got on it.

Let me be the first to say that walking on a treadmill is NOTHING like walking on concrete.

But it's also not like walking on those conveyor belts at the airport either. (Whew. Those things are a DOOZY, especially when you're running on them. Even walking on them I have to keep my eyes on my feet and watch for the end of the belt, but even then it sneaks up on you and you're the only idiot tripping off the thing and trying to play it off as something you MEANT to do.)

So I turn it on and reduce the speed to 2 m.p.h. (don't want to overdo it) and start to walk.

Rather, I start to do something akin to walking but not quite.

I call it the Frankenstein stomp.

You know when you're drunk off yourself and to successfully walk to the bathroom you have to look at your feet and WILL them to move, only your legs are suddenly ten times heavier than they physically should be and you wind up jerking your foot up and stomping it back down, only going forward a few inches?

I did that for seven minutes and only burned 38 calories.

Stupid machine.

If I'm huffing and puffing and sweating and cursing I am pretty sure I've burned more than 38 calories.

I finally got to where I was more walking than cautiously stumbling and did so for fifteen minutes, or 0.5 miles.

Yay.

I'm on my way.

Britney Spears, eat your heart out.

If I don't kill myself first.

Ugh.

Paging Dr. Seuss... Please Come Get Your Minions

Living with two 7 month old kittens is akin to living with Thing One and Thing Two.

Stay with me here.

They sleep all day and when ten p.m. rolls around, it's like someone went and smashed Pandora's Box. All of Hades breaks loose.

There is racing, running, meowing, growling, claws, kicking, biting, and other fur-flying madness.

I wouldn't mind except... they involve anything or anyone they happen to roll by.

Including humans.

Mostly me.

I don't like two cats razing my room, knocking crap over while I'm trying to sleep.

But as soon as the sun starts to peek over the horizon... the Things curl up all nice and cute like on the couch and fall asleep.

I LOVE walking by and harassing them, just to keep them on their toes.

Oh, and note to Things: When I whip my bra around to put it on is NOT the opportune time to attack.

I hope your tail grows back soon.

Black Friday

It's been a while since I posted last! Wow! I've been busy being... in a funk. A funk of laziness, wow-it-just-hit-me-that-my-husband-is-away, and Christmas.

Good old Christmas.

But that's another post for another day!

Black Friday was a couple of weeks ago, and my MIL and I decided to brave the weather and see what kind of deals we could get. The Wal-Mart here opened at 5 a.m., so at 4:30 we crawled out of bed. ALMOST decided not to go. ALMOST decided not to stay when we saw the line! In true shopaholic trait, we stood in the icy wind for twenty harsh minutes to buy....

1. a new printer for $29.

2. four sets of pajamas for the kids for $4 each. (I tried explaining to my MIL that there was a reason blankets were invented, so we wouldn't have the need to spend money on THIRTEEN MATCHING PAJAMA OUTFITS.

3. toys. Just a few really good deals, like the Pixos for $10 and the Cupcake maker for $15.

4. a roaster for $7.

5. two 30 piece food storage containers for $7 each.

I felt sorry for those people who elbowed their way for one of the two digital cameras, flat screen t.v.'s or laptops. Sigh. Some people are just die-hard fans.

Then we went by and got donuts, went home and fell asleep. Whew.

Analysis Of A Debate 5

GUESS WHO GOT A 98 ON HER BIG BAD 3000 WORD GOVERNMENT ASSIGNMENT???

GUESS WHO GOT A 98 ON HER BIG BAD 3000 WORD GOVERNMENT ASSIGNMENT???

ME!!!!

WOO HOOOOO!!!!